Long time lurker, finally posting

[curiosityrover]

Hey all,

I am an early 30s male from the USA. Extremely fit, private, professional. Have had mostly vanilla partners my whole adult life, with glimpses of anal here and there. It's the biggest turn on of all for me, but I've never found a partner who prefers it or wants to do it more than once every 6 months or so, even with plenty of attention and communication paid to my partners so they are as comfortable as possible I am open to advice from guys/couples who have been in my situation and remedied it. Also open to chat with gals who are crazy about it and how they got to that point.

Cheers.

[Colt1911]

Hey all,

I am an early 30s male from the USA. Extremely fit, private, professional. Have had mostly vanilla partners my whole adult life, with glimpses of anal here and there. It's the biggest turn on of all for me, but I've never found a partner who prefers it or wants to do it more than once every 6 months or so, even with plenty of attention and communication paid to my partners so they are as comfortable as possible I am open to advice from guys/couples who have been in my situation and remedied it. Also open to chat with gals who are crazy about it and how they got to that point.

Cheers.

For us, finding a way for her to crave anal sex was the secret to becoming anal only for the past 4+ years. Understand we’ve been married for 41 years, but had anal sex for the first time in our relationship just 4 years ago.

My wife enjoyed anal play but swore she’d never take my cock in her ass. Had I been more patient, persistent, and knowledgeable, I’m sure we would have had anal sex early in our relationship.

Even though we’ve been anal only for more than 4 years, anal play with fingers, plugs, and toys is always part of our repertoire. I suggest you up your anal game by spending time arousing her ass and outer sphincter with gentle touches and just the slightest of penetration with fingers. Just tease the fuck out of her asshole. The point is to get her to crave MORE.

This worked so well for us we discovered she squirts from anal play and penetration. During play, I also rub, pinch, and pull on her erect clit which increases the pleasure she experiences.

I don’t know if this will work for you or others, but it changed our sex life in a very positive way. In our 60’s (sorry for the visual but we’re both healthy and fit) we have anal sex two or three times a week. I should also clarify my wife did not experience orgasm from vaginal penetration. She could only orgasm with clitoral stimulation. Within minutes of me penetrating her ass for the first time, she experienced a massive anal orgasm. She has at least one anal orgasm every time we have anal sex.

We would never know she could experience anal orgasms unless I took the time to tease her ass into craving penetration. Patience in advancing from simple teasing with fingers and toys to increasing the size of plugs and dildos brought us to the point we are today. I don’t know if this is of any help to you, but it worked like a charm for us. I wish you well on your anal journey. It’s made such a huge difference in our life I’m happy to help anyone interested in achieving the same.

[Ozzy]

I don't see myself dating a vanilla partner. It happened in the past, but nowadays I'm much more concerned about my own needs to let it ever happen again. I try to subtly introduce the anal subject as soon as possible, fishing her about it, if she's into it or not. If she says she doesn't like it, or says that she does it but just to please the partner, then I know she's not the right person for me.

My last girlfriend had never done it before, but she was very open to try it. And she ended up even prefering it to vaginal.

[Ozzy]

You can also choose a more direct approach and in the apropriate moment ask her if she likes it or tell her that you like anal very much and that it's very important for you and see how she reacts. Come on people, it's not rocket science, the person won't know if you don't tell her - with much gentleness, as this is a delicate subject, but you have to be honest about your needs.

[curiosityrover]

Hey all,

I am an early 30s male from the USA. Extremely fit, private, professional. Have had mostly vanilla partners my whole adult life, with glimpses of anal here and there. It's the biggest turn on of all for me, but I've never found a partner who prefers it or wants to do it more than once every 6 months or so, even with plenty of attention and communication paid to my partners so they are as comfortable as possible I am open to advice from guys/couples who have been in my situation and remedied it. Also open to chat with gals who are crazy about it and how they got to that point.

Cheers.

For us, finding a way for her to crave anal sex was the secret to becoming anal only for the past 4+ years. Understand we’ve been married for 41 years, but had anal sex for the first time in our relationship just 4 years ago.

My wife enjoyed anal play but swore she’d never take my cock in her ass. Had I been more patient, persistent, and knowledgeable, I’m sure we would have had anal sex early in our relationship.

Even though we’ve been anal only for more than 4 years, anal play with fingers, plugs, and toys is always part of our repertoire. I suggest you up your anal game by spending time arousing her ass and outer sphincter with gentle touches and just the slightest of penetration with fingers. Just tease the fuck out of her asshole. The point is to get her to crave MORE.

This worked so well for us we discovered she squirts from anal play and penetration. During play, I also rub, pinch, and pull on her erect clit which increases the pleasure she experiences.

I don’t know if this will work for you or others, but it changed our sex life in a very positive way. In our 60’s (sorry for the visual but we’re both healthy and fit) we have anal sex two or three times a week. I should also clarify my wife did not experience orgasm from vaginal penetration. She could only orgasm with clitoral stimulation. Within minutes of me penetrating her ass for the first time, she experienced a massive anal orgasm. She has at least one anal orgasm every time we have anal sex.

We would never know she could experience anal orgasms unless I took the time to tease her ass into craving penetration. Patience in advancing from simple teasing with fingers and toys to increasing the size of plugs and dildos brought us to the point we are today. I don’t know if this is of any help to you, but it worked like a charm for us. I wish you well on your anal journey. It’s made such a huge difference in our life I’m happy to help anyone interested in achieving the same.

Thank you for the advice and I'm so happy for you. I could try more teasing. I have tried to tease her hole in the past, and she seemed fine with it for a little while. Most recently though she doesn't want even a finger near there unless she's in a very specific mood. She's kind of got a thing about germs. I have a hard time understanding it because she is always quite clean, and I've never had any issues with plugs, penis, fingers, etc being dirty after anal play with her.

[curiosityrover]

You can also choose a more direct approach and in the apropriate moment ask her if she likes it or tell her that you like anal very much and that it's very important for you and see how she reacts. Come on people, it's not rocket science, the person won't know if you don't tell her - with much gentleness, as this is a delicate subject, but you have to be honest about your needs.

We have had that conversation more than a couple of times. She seems bothered that I like her ass more than her vagina. I have told her in the past that not having anal would be a deal-breaker for me, but as it stands we are 8 years into the relationship and for it all to fall apart over this... I find myself feeling guilt and shame about my preferences.

[Ozzy]

You can also choose a more direct approach and in the apropriate moment ask her if she likes it or tell her that you like anal very much and that it's very important for you and see how she reacts. Come on people, it's not rocket science, the person won't know if you don't tell her - with much gentleness, as this is a delicate subject, but you have to be honest about your needs.

We have had that conversation more than a couple of times. She seems bothered that I like her ass more than her vagina. I have told her in the past that not having anal would be a deal-breaker for me, but as it stands we are 8 years into the relationship and for it all to fall apart over this... I find myself feeling guilt and shame about my preferences.

8 years? That's a lot of time.
I know exactly how you feel. I've been in a 2 year relationship when she always promised me anal but we only did it a couple of times. She was kind of telling me: "how the hell my vagina is not good enough for you? You're a man, you're supposed to like vaginas. And you still want me to fuck in the ass? That's gross and unnatural! Are you gay?"

The problem is people think our preference for anal is a kind of disease. It's something you have to overcome to become a strong man, and she wants to help you fight your "adiction". It's not even a legitimate reason to break up the relationship, because, you know, come one, how can you dare to think that ass sex, that's just a sick perversion YOU have, comes before me and our relationship, and I'm your dear partner of 8 long years! We're such a vanilla couple, our life is perfect and you're going to fulfil all MY expectations, because that's how life is supposed to be.

Ok, you know what to do with your life, but I think (my opinion and I may be wrong because I'm just a stranger on the internet) is that she's blackmailing you. Is she a gold digger? You said you're an acomplished guy, didn't you. I may be biased in my judgement, because I really hate this type of woman. But I know she has qualities right, otherwise you wouldn't be with her for 8 years. Just tell her that she either accepts you how you are, or else go find someone suitable for her. You're NOT obliged to fulfil all her sick vanilla delusions.

[Backdoorlover]

Believe me, I found out myself. The only way is finding a woman who enjoys anal more then vaginal. All else will fail. I had the “are you gay” comment from a woman who was the one offering her asshole without any sign from me. But when I got a bit too entousiastic it suddenly was meant only a few times a month.

Now my woman want my cock in her ass. When we still pussyfucked is was merely foreplay for the anal fun.

[Rimmer]

We have had that conversation more than a couple of times. She seems bothered that I like her ass more than her vagina.

We once had that conversation. I told my partner (now wife) that I loved her pussy, but I also loved her ass. although I loved her pussy, I preferred to fuck her ass (this could vary from person to person, also like to have anal, equally like anal, prefer anal, only like anal). You can love looking at, playing with, eating pussy. even some penetration, but when it comes down to the main event, some of us prefer anal. I don't dislike vaginal sex, my cock just tends to head for the ass hole for some reason. I told her I loved all of her, where some men might not like her ass hole, I did. So it wasn't that I disliked her pussy at all, her pussy was great, it was just that she also had such a good anus, that looked so inviting and so hot as it took my cock and felt so great to cum inside of. I couldn't help it if she possessed such a tempting ass hole. Then she got that it wasn't that I didn't like part of her but that I liked more of her, found more of her sexy, than she previously expected a man to.

[liesal]

Hey all,

I am an early 30s male from the USA. Extremely fit, private, professional. Have had mostly vanilla partners my whole adult life, with glimpses of anal here and there. It's the biggest turn on of all for me, but I've never found a partner who prefers it or wants to do it more than once every 6 months or so, even with plenty of attention and communication paid to my partners so they are as comfortable as possible I am open to advice from guys/couples who have been in my situation and remedied it. Also open to chat with gals who are crazy about it and how they got to that point.

Cheers.

Wonderful to hear hun. I am late forties and very young for my age as I am also autistic. I am a sensory seeker. I am independent. I love my independence. I want an anal man who wants me. I live in south Louisiana