Long time lurker, finally posting

New to the forum? Introduce yourself to the other members of the community. Share a little bit about yourself and your anal only experience and motivations.
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu May 27, 2021 8:04 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Midwest USA

Re: Long time lurker, finally posting

Post by curiosityrover » Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:00 pm

Ozzy wrote:
Fri Aug 26, 2022 5:29 pm
curiosityrover wrote:
Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:00 pm
Ozzy wrote:
Thu Aug 25, 2022 1:24 pm
You can also choose a more direct approach and in the apropriate moment ask her if she likes it or tell her that you like anal very much and that it's very important for you and see how she reacts. Come on people, it's not rocket science, the person won't know if you don't tell her - with much gentleness, as this is a delicate subject, but you have to be honest about your needs.

We have had that conversation more than a couple of times. She seems bothered that I like her ass more than her vagina. I have told her in the past that not having anal would be a deal-breaker for me, but as it stands we are 8 years into the relationship and for it all to fall apart over this... I find myself feeling guilt and shame about my preferences.

8 years? That's a lot of time.
I know exactly how you feel. I've been in a 2 year relationship when she always promised me anal but we only did it a couple of times. She was kind of telling me: "how the hell my vagina is not good enough for you? You're a man, you're supposed to like vaginas. And you still want me to fuck in the ass? That's gross and unnatural! Are you gay?"

The problem is people think our preference for anal is a kind of disease. It's something you have to overcome to become a strong man, and she wants to help you fight your "adiction". It's not even a legitimate reason to break up the relationship, because, you know, come one, how can you dare to think that ass sex, that's just a sick perversion YOU have, comes before me and our relationship, and I'm your dear partner of 8 long years! We're such a vanilla couple, our life is perfect and you're going to fulfil all MY expectations, because that's how life is supposed to be.

Ok, you know what to do with your life, but I think (my opinion and I may be wrong because I'm just a stranger on the internet) is that she's blackmailing you. Is she a gold digger? You said you're an acomplished guy, didn't you. I may be biased in my judgement, because I really hate this type of woman. But I know she has qualities right, otherwise you wouldn't be with her for 8 years. Just tell her that she either accepts you how you are, or else go find someone suitable for her. You're NOT obliged to fulfil all her sick vanilla delusions.

She is not a gold digger as we both make a good living. She does have good qualities which is why the relationship has gone this long but in 2016 she unlocked her ass for me and since then it's been the back-and-forth struggle. I really appreciate everyone's comments here and shared experiences. Sometimes it's nice to know you're not the only one out there with these kind of intimacy issues. I am genuinely happy for you all that have found someone super comfortable with their sexuality and embrace the ass.

Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2016 1:45 am
Gender: Male
Location: Athens, Greece

Re: Long time lurker, finally posting

Post by MoMa » Wed Sep 07, 2022 12:59 pm

I managed to divorce after a 19 year relationship, three years ago. I think I have posts here before my divorce.

3 years later and several partners later, I can boil it down to these two factors:

1) If she likes it, you are fine
2) If she doesn't like it, investigate why. Usually, it's a bad experience with a previous partner and/or social conditioning against anal.

After my divorce, I had two serious relationships. Both were into anal, but not as a main event. With both of them, anal has become a staple almost all the time we have sex. But, I do a lot of oral on them and fingering, so they had ample orgasms...

In an extreme case, I had a partner recently who had never had anal sex and had vaginismus her whole life, so sex for her was always a huge issue for her.

I gain her trust, felt safe with me and after only a few sessions, I only have anal sex with her. Nothing else. I told her that I see her disadvantage as an advantage to me, since I prefer anal.

She now enjoys sex and had also an orgmasm from anal sex, without even touching her clit.

As a side note, i introduced her a wand, which is tremendous help for women with vaginismus...

Hope that it helps.

PS: I had so much anal sex in the last 3 years, that i never had in my whole life. And I'm 45...

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