Aspiring AO couple from New Jersey

[Steve&Sher]

Hi all, we are a M/f and D/s couple from New Jersey, aspiring to be anal only. I’m 51, she’s in her early 40’s, and while we’re not new to anal, the AO lifestyle is pretty intriguing to us from multiple perspectives. Looking forward to learning more and gaining insights from other members’ experiences.

[Colt1911]

Hi all, we are a M/f and D/s couple from New Jersey, aspiring to be anal only. I’m 51, she’s in her early 40’s, and while we’re not new to anal, the AO lifestyle is pretty intriguing to us from multiple perspectives. Looking forward to learning more and gaining insights from other members’ experiences.

Like you, we’re a m/f and d/s couple who discovered anal sex 4+ years ago after 36 years of marriage. What “sold” us was my longtime obsession with anal and the incredible anal orgasms she experiences during anal sex. Several years ago, she’d tell me she wanted vaginal sex, but minutes later always asked for anal penetration. Once in a while I might spend a minute penetrating her vagina, but not long and it always ends in anal.

Long story, but I’d always finger, lick, and tease her ass using small toys but she swore my cock would never penetrate her ass. I’m average length but girthy so her pretty hole was off limits for penetration. Both of us started hormone replacement therapy 4+ years ago. Suddenly, she responded much differently to anal play and it became apparent she wanted anal penetration. The first time I fully penetrated her ass she had a powerful anal orgasm. As they say, the rest is history as we enjoy anal sex several times a week. Now she can take 2” diameter glass plugs and I’ve learned how to really pleasure her ass. As the dom, she can only orgasm when I’m anally penetrating her. If I’m able to control my orgasm, she will often experience a second, even more powerful orgasm.

This experience has changed our sexual relationship in a most positive way. We laugh that grandma and grandpa are anal freaks, although she worries if we both die during anal sex that our adult children will discover the numerous stainless, glass, and silicone anal toys I keep in a large tool bag. They’re our tools of the anal pleasure trade. For us, there is nothing as pleasurable as anal sex. I’m happy to share anything that might help others explore this lifestyle.

[Steve&Sher]

Hi Colt, thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sher and I are both divorced single parents so I totally get the “kids finding out” thing. I have a drawer next to my bed that would probably shock my kids if they ever went through it! (And you made me laugh with the grandpa/grandma anal freaks comment, lol.)

Sher has a particularly unattractive vagina which is why we’re giving anal-only a try, but my biggest thing is I don’t believe in artificial lube - so the only lube we use for anal has been her saliva or her vaginal juice - but I usually end up penetrating her vaginally in order to lube myself up enough to penetrate her asshole. Without some sort of lube before anal, my penis gets a little raw - so while penetrating her vagina isn’t something I enjoy doing, it’s something I usually end up having to do for a few seconds even though I don’t enjoy it/don’t want to. Any advice?

-Steve

[Colt1911]

Hi Colt, thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sher and I are both divorced single parents so I totally get the “kids finding out” thing. I have a drawer next to my bed that would probably shock my kids if they ever went through it! (And you made me laugh with the grandpa/grandma anal freaks comment, lol.)

Sher has a particularly unattractive vagina which is why we’re giving anal-only a try, but my biggest thing is I don’t believe in artificial lube - so the only lube we use for anal has been her saliva or her vaginal juice - but I usually end up penetrating her vaginally in order to lube myself up enough to penetrate her asshole. Without some sort of lube before anal, my penis gets a little raw - so while penetrating her vagina isn’t something I enjoy doing, it’s something I usually end up having to do for a few seconds even though I don’t enjoy it/don’t want to. Any advice?

-Steve

I’ll have more time to send you links, but there are many alternatives to “artificial lube” coconut oil is one option. We have a coconut oil lube infused with CBD oil. It’s expensive but it’s anal sex we’re talking about! You can even use food grade coconut oil from the grocery store.

Some women, my wife being one of them, produce moisture in their rectum during anal play. Often, she’s so wet I use a little saliva to lubricate the external area around her sphincter and penetrate her with ease. We are NOT fans of silicone lube as it virtually eliminates the friction we enjoy.

Our go to lube is a water based lube (so artificial in a sense) infused with CBD oil. My wife also uses a CBD salve on her sphincter after anal sex to keep her hole supple and healthy. I’ll send you links, if interested, to several products. Let me know if you’d also like links to quality stainless and glass plugs.

[Backdoorlover]

We use coconut oil since our second assfuck. We will never go back. Coconut oil is pure natural, get 100% absorbed, stays slipery for 40 min fucksessions or more, and it tastes good when she takes me ass to mouth.

[Mrgoodbar05]

It's nice to finally hear from someone in New Jersey lol. Enjoy

[Steve&Sher]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and the kind words of welcome! This is all helpful - although I meant “natural” as in lubricants made by the human body. Sher does ass-to-mouth (she claims she doesn’t like it but I believe she secretly does - we’re a D/s couple) and I don’t want to obscure the taste of her ass with anything, really - although using her own spit seems to work somewhat well, it’s really her vaginal lubricant that seems to work best. She gets extremely wet - which is another reason we’re trying to switch to anal only because when she gets wet she gets sopping/sloppy wet and it feels like I’m fucking a bowl of oatmeal - but anyway, I’m able to scoop the pussy leakage and smear it on her asshole and even finger some of it into her asshole, which allows me to penetrate. The problem comes in that while her asshole ends up being lubed enough for me to penetrate, my cock isn’t lubed at all - and that’s when my penis can get a little raw. My only solution so far has been to penetrate her vaginally for one or two quick pumps and then go back to her asshole - but that makes me feel like I’m not honoring the anal only lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong, Sher doesn’t mind the vaginal penetration at all, but I do.

[Colt1911]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and the kind words of welcome! This is all helpful - although I meant “natural” as in lubricants made by the human body. Sher does ass-to-mouth (she claims she doesn’t like it but I believe she secretly does - we’re a D/s couple) and I don’t want to obscure the taste of her ass with anything, really - although using her own spit seems to work somewhat well, it’s really her vaginal lubricant that seems to work best. She gets extremely wet - which is another reason we’re trying to switch to anal only because when she gets wet she gets sopping/sloppy wet and it feels like I’m fucking a bowl of oatmeal - but anyway, I’m able to scoop the pussy leakage and smear it on her asshole and even finger some of it into her asshole, which allows me to penetrate. The problem comes in that while her asshole ends up being lubed enough for me to penetrate, my cock isn’t lubed at all - and that’s when my penis can get a little raw. My only solution so far has been to penetrate her vaginally for one or two quick pumps and then go back to her asshole - but that makes me feel like I’m not honoring the anal only lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong, Sher doesn’t mind the vaginal penetration at all, but I do.

A couple of thoughts… first, despite how well she preps or cleans out, there is always the risk of a UTI when you switch back and forth between her ass and pussy. We did that once early in our AO relationship and she got a UTI.

One possible source of natural lubrication is if she squirts. My wife is an occasional squirter during anal penetration. When we have anal sex in missionary, her squirt dribbles from her pussy and lubricates my cock in her ass. This happens every once in a while so we can’t depend on it all the time. The angle of penetration in missionary directing your cock up and against her cervix indirectly touching her G spot. I can’t explain why she only squirts during anal and not during vaginal penetration, but that’s been our experience.

Some on the forum may tell you there’s no problem switching back and forth between ass and pussy but understand the risk of her contracting a UTI. It depends on the person but we know we can’t switch back and forth. Anal sex arouses all the senses including smell and taste adding to the overall experience. Even though we use a small amount of lube, I still can taste and smell her ass. My recommendation would be to try a water based lube and see what you think. Coconut oil would NOT be a good choice as it will add its own taste and smell. You both must decide what’s best for you, but I’d try the lube instead of struggling for natural lubrication during anal sex. Let us know if you’re able to resolve this. Enjoy the anal journey!

[Steve&Sher]

Thanks, Colt - that’s all really helpful guidance, especially about the water-based lube. And I agree about the UTI risk - other than some light, pre-penetration teasing, I’m always cognizant of/careful about going from her asshole to her vagina. While I’m the Dom, Sher and I are in a committed relationship and I care about her outside of the D/s sex part and her health is important to me. (Outside of the D/s part of our relationship, Sher is certainly no shrinking violet, but oddly I seem to care about the UTI-avoidance part more than she does - but that’s a whole ‘nother story, lol.)

I don’t have that concern about going from her asshole to her mouth, as I’m a firm believer in the “if she makes a mess, she cleans the mess” paradigm (plus, it turns me on).

But the squirting thing is a really good idea - now I just have to figure out how to make her squirt and I’ll be all set

[Colt1911]

Thanks, Colt - that’s all really helpful guidance, especially about the water-based lube. And I agree about the UTI risk - other than some light, pre-penetration teasing, I’m always cognizant of/careful about going from her asshole to her vagina. While I’m the Dom, Sher and I are in a committed relationship and I care about her outside of the D/s sex part and her health is important to me. (Outside of the D/s part of our relationship, Sher is certainly no shrinking violet, but oddly I seem to care about the UTI-avoidance part more than she does - but that’s a whole ‘nother story, lol.)

I don’t have that concern about going from her asshole to her mouth, as I’m a firm believer in the “if she makes a mess, she cleans the mess” paradigm (plus, it turns me on).

But the squirting thing is a really good idea - now I just have to figure out how to make her squirt and I’ll be all set

Below is a link to a subtitled explanation and demonstration. Insert you finger in her pussy and curl your finger and move it around until you find an area that feels like little bumps. That’s her g-spot. Press and rub this area to her comfort. I can press and manipulate my wife’s g-spot aggressively but she’s used to it.

I can also make her squirt when she’s on all fours and I insert two or three fingers in her ass from behind and curl my fingers down and towards her g-spot through her rectum. If you’re looking for her squirt to provide lubricant, she should lay on her back so the juices dribble down to her asshole.

She doesn’t squirt like she used to when we first discovered anal sex. She’s soaked my face and pillow in 69 position as I fuck her ass with a dildo. Since we’re anal pros now, it doesn’t happen as often as it did. Every once in a while she’ll squirt when I penetrate her with my cock. As her dom it’s empowering to see her pussy well up and gush in missionary position while I’m pumping her ass. In missionary, try and angling your cock up towards her g-spot as that can help make her squirt. As she describes it, squirting is not an orgasm per se, it is more like a pleasant “release”. For me, her squirting during anal is like dessert after a great steak dinner. A once in a while thing. Even when I don’t get “dessert”, I’m always treated to a massive anal orgasm. Squirting is the icing on the cake!
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