25M From Edmonton. Advice for finding AO partners?

[Smalldick]

Hello everyone,

New to the forum, from Edmonton AB

I am 25M, happily in a relationship for over 5 years. I’m 6” tall, my ukrainian gf is 5’7” athletic blonde with very tight gripping holes. She has been open to Anal but she doesn’t really prefer it like I do. Over the past 5 years shes been reluctant to go Anal Only and chooses to use contraceptives to avoid pregnancy. She is aware of how much I love asshole and feeds me hers every morning, however we rarely have anal penetration and I feel I am missing out on something beautiful.

Especially since my penis isn't so overwhelmingly large and easy to take up the ass or pussy. (Its just slightly larger then a medium size butt plug around 3.9-4.7 inches in height). I just feel like I was perfectly blessed by god to be able to penetrate anally without worries of large tears or strong pain for the reciever.

I just feel like this gift and ability is going to waste. Its literally the PERFECT butt plug SIZE for unstretched buttholes.

Anyways she's the happier one in the relationship and loves how much I make her cum vaginally that shes always siding for vaginal penetration. I can understand it can be difficult and time consuming to "prepare anally" but thats just what turns me on.

We've had open relationship prior and I was allowed to see other girls on the side or have sex. Anyways, recently shes been getting proud/smug due to me treating her special/exceptional and now avoiding anal sex even though thats MY preferred way.

I've been reading here about these lovely anal loving women and I am intrigued and captivated!

Where do you guys find these uncommon Anal-Only girls!!!?? Im having difficulty in finding threesomes that aren't strictly vanilla/vaginal. Seems 75%-85% of the girls in my area are much more conservative then ones you guys are finding.

TL;DR

I want to keep an AO gf but my gf doesn't want to fill that role, leaving me unsatisfied and craving fullfillment

Any advice??

[Backdoorlover]

Seems to me she’s not a match for you then. And as a man who has been with a woman for 23 years that I did’t really wanted in the first place, I urge you to quit this relationship.

I wished I did it much sooner in my life.

[Smalldick]

Seems to me she’s not a match for you then. And as a man who has been with a woman for 23 years that I did’t really wanted in the first place, I urge you to quit this relationship.

I wished I did it much sooner in my life.

Yes your right, that's how I've been feeling. It does not feel right to continue something thats keeping me unfullfilled.

The problem is I'm worried about her life spiraling downhill just as it had everytime I tried to leave for any period. This girl needs a lot of love and care because shes had trauma and physical abuse from the past.

You see I was entrusted by her family members to take care of her. Be there for her and help her. Her life has rapidly become more and more stable and it was all due the years of hardwork by me and her closest family. (Before I came they didn't do much)

If I leave just for the sake of my happiness and sexual pleasure would I be being too selfish? All that was worked for will be gone down the drain. Years of healing and getting back on track will go to waste because we seen many times how she becomes without me there.

She needs me there for the progression of her life and for keeping stability and remaining happy in life but I can't say I am happy to constantly be babysitting her daily life and being the adult.

I've been told that people who are like this. They only go down one path and "you can't save her", "Don't save her" etc due to the fact that her brain is now psycologically wired to turn out like those OnlyFns type (stripper/sex worker/wanting to be treated like sex object/degrading herself & family to please random men etc)

I can't say I fully believe that will happen since I have seen so much growth and change from her however part of me still realizes everytime I leave she goes back to her old wreckless ways.

Im stuck in a place where both options staying, or leaving would cause lots of damage and make people miserable. I really don't see any of those options as positive. Currently shes very happy, got all the things she wanted and I am left with mediocre contentment and unsatisfied sexual desires and urges.

Is leaving to fullfill my desires really the correct thing to do to? To break someone's spirit, which took years to improve to this point??

[Colt1911]

@Smalldick the best advice I can give is to have an open and honest conversation with her. If she’d be devastated if you left her, tell her how devastating it is to you that she’s not fulfilling your needs. Disappointment cuts both ways.

I’ll let the women in the forum chime in, but experienced “analists” can accommodate cocks large and small. I hope you’re able to convince your current partner to give anal a serious try. If she’s willing, make sure you give her as much pleasure as possible so she wants it again. Many of us are happy to provide advice on how to do that.

[NoVagAnal]

@Smalldick keep in mind not all women know they will like anal. My wife sore she would never have anal when I met her, but now she is anal only. It didn't happen right away, it took time and patience.

I believe that most women suffer from inhibitions. Even when my wife went AO it still took her a lot of time to finally admit she actually really likes rough anal.

So finding a girl that is already AO might not be how you end up with an AO partner.

[Colt1911]

@Smalldick what @NoVagAnal said is exactly true. My wife swore my cock would never penetrate her ass and we’ve been anal only for the last five years. It only took us 37 years of marriage before that happened. You’ll get there sooner than we did. Pleasure her ass with your tongue and fingers. Work up slowly to more fingers and larger toys. Rub her clit so she associates that pleasure with anal stimulation. That’s what worked for us.

[Smalldick]

Yes!!!! Thats exactly what usually what works for me to have anal usually. Starting with rimming is what usually allows women to start thinking about it. Over time, maybe one day wanting it "back there". .

However for my gf, she loves creaming vaginally sooo much. I think its because of how she cums sooooo HARD from pussy maybe she thinks it just can never be as good or compare.

I keep trying to do anal but she just teases me these days, making me eat her ass when I ask for anal but never letting me penetrate.

Maybe I can convince her to try it when we are tipsy. We definetly need to have a Talk. Should I try to direct her towards AO, slowly over time?? Try that first before talking to her about ending things or just have a serious talk give her the ultimatum ("my way, or the highway" etc)

Please guys with experience chime in. I want to do this the RIGHT way. The way that's most likely to work. I've invested much too heavily on this women and it would just be loss of FULL Investment if I dropped her solely over this.

Not to mention, kind of selfish and ridiculous to give up on someone over something so trivial in comparison to the typical unagreeable couple.

What is the BEST options for a situation such as this? I want to resolve this without being an jerk and considering her perspective too. From both sides.

Am I being too much of a simp? Would you deal with this differently? What is the most, most likely to lead to an amazing anal 4Life gf..??? Please give me guidance, fellow experts of the lifestyle.

[Backdoorlover]

Despite the good advise I am not confident that she will progress to what you need. The fact she kind of prides herself now in you providing her pleasure is the eye opener. In a two way relation she would want to pleasure you too, in the way you need.

Another red flag is that she seems co dependant. This is not a bad thing but you need to realize this is a life’s work. And no matter how people think about it, it’s her who’s responsible for her well being. She can and may not solely rely on others for that, cause in the long run - as you stated - no one will be really happy.

So at least have a very straight foreward and in dept talk with her about the matter. Tell her everything and tell her you are missing out while you give her all she needs. This is nót a healthy relationship.