Time for anal

[herbleck]

I have this guilty taste (at the beginning) for anal sex, it has attracted me since the first porn I saw, at that time in an ignorant country like mine it was something strange to talk about it openly. So I always kept it as a secret.

The thing is that I'm in my 20's, I already have my degree finished and a good job and of course a loving and attentive girlfriend who, luckily for me, was into bdsm just like me, but she as such doesn't like anal sex. (due to bad experiences with past relationships), I have been with her for 5 years, we have many plans for the future and of course from the 2nd year of being together I told her about my fantasy. Over the following years, we have tried it but I don't see her very interested in anal sex, until recently we talked about it and agreed that we were going to try it more often.

The reason for change was vaginal sex, for me. It's kind of boring. It always has been because I don't find much excitement in doing it that way, but I fulfilled my goal as her man to satisfy her sexually, but I've already reached critical levels where I really don't feel any excitement or morbidity.
I don't know if I'm washing my head, that she would like it, but if she commits (which she already did and that's why I'm here) because she likes pain, spanking, among other things like humiliation and being treated like lower than a human being.

The thing is that I feel guilty, I feel that I am forcing her to do something that she herself does not feel attracted to, but it is also on the side that if I do not satisfy this need I really don't know what I will do later, I don't want to go through the rest of my time with her without feeling the sensation of sexual satisfaction.
She is multi-orgasmic, in a vaginal sex session she comes up to 3 times mínimum.
What do you think, how do you deal with this feeling of guilt and yourself if someone here has gone through something similar.

Thank you very much for reading me, I am new and I look forward to the topics that I have read, there are many very well-informed people.
SOrry for the wrong traduction haha

[Rimmer]

Originally my wife did not like anal, but she did it for me sometimes as, like you, I longed for it. She didn't realize she was into any kind of kink. you say your girlfriend is into BDSM, pain, humiliation etc, one day my wife asked me if I wanted to just use her anally. A bit worried about how she would react to my answer and concerned at why she was asking me, I went ahead and said yes. She just said OK and we went AO, I had not at the time heard of AO, I just thought I was weird. After a while, it turned out that she wanted to be dominated and this was a way for her to get that, she didn't like anal, but going AO made her feel dominated by me. We later learnt she has a rape fetish. Later still that she is a switch and a Brat! Not that we even realized or are living a BDSM lifestyle, it's just the way it is. She likes anal now by the way. It may, or may not be the case that your girlfriend will take you in her ass to satisfy your need and put it down to being dominated and humiliated. If that is the case then you will have to mentally deal with the notion that she does not like the act of anal sex, but that at the same time it satisfies her need to be humiliated, you may have to roll play, just be careful as it can be tricky to navigate. If this is the case you will both have to accept that you may both get it wrong sometimes, many people have safe words and the like. It may be that as you both get better at giving and receiving anal, she will grow to like it. If you are giving her three orgasms vaginally, sounds like you are doing a good job. So, if, she decides to reciprocate by receiving you anally, she is seeing your need and wanting to satisfy that for you. If she really does like to be treated as sub human - degraded - she may like it if you take her anally and and whisper to her things like, "this is all a girl like you is good for," or, "a decent girl wouldn't take it like this, but you do, don't you?" but as I say, be careful not to cross any lines that could damage the relationship.

[semi-normal]

My girl is a bit like this. We love each other and want to do things for each other even if it is not our first choice. She is open to anal because she knows I love it and now enjoys it because I do. Frankly, it is the thing that has brought us closer than ever and perhaps that is part of the reason, if not the primary one.
Also, we do some light bdsm and this has helped too; she is very independent and strong, but this allows her to submit and love in a different way.

[Backdoorlover]

I am a bit puzzled.

I assume a woman who is like yours (bdsm, into pain, lower then a human being) would want to be forced to do that which she doesn’t like. I feel like she’s the perfect candidate to do pussy denial with and from now only use in her ass and her mouth to pleasure you.

It seems to me that you should stop worrying about her pleasure and start using her for what she’s meant to do: pleasure her master.

So from your story I get the idea that you are the one who is not truly into BDSM cause you worry about her not liking anal. That’s just the whole point here. It doesn’t matter if she likes it, you do with her what you like and she has to be a good slave and take it.

Correct me if I’m wrong here please

[hdean667]

I am a bit puzzled.

I assume a woman who is like yours (bdsm, into pain, lower then a human being) would want to be forced to do that which she doesn’t like. I feel like she’s the perfect candidate to do pussy denial with and from now only use in her ass and her mouth to pleasure you.

It seems to me that you should stop worrying about her pleasure and start using her for what she’s meant to do: pleasure her master.

So from your story I get the idea that you are the one who is not truly into BDSM cause you worry about her not liking anal. That’s just the whole point here. It doesn’t matter if she likes it, you do with her what you like and she has to be a good slave and take it.

Correct me if I’m wrong here please

This is also my take on the matter. Though it sounds more like he is a bit afraid to act on these desires and needs to have a chat, set a safe word, and then get to using her.

[atmisnormal]

this reminds me of a t-shirt I have.."I overthink, therefore it depends"

I have also overthought my wife's desire to be used for my own pleasure at times.

This is how our ATM journey started...she knew I loved it and wanted it...but had to ask "are you in to this?" but when I asked I wasn't ready for ..I will do it because I know it turns you on and makes you crazy but not because it is my kink...yet. It turns me on to please you like that. I will get to the point of needing it, I am sure. but for now know that I will do it, for you. ...I was reluctant to bring her my cock from her ass at first. Now I ask her to suck it without apology (after I have checked my cock of course). I have to say her ATM skills are improving and really knocking me off of my feet. I am so fucking lucky to know this woman.

[TelJ2003]

I was in an AO relationship a few years ago. My boyfriend and I were together about 6 months and I wanted to introduce anal into our sex life. He was initially reluctant because he was afraid he might hurt me. We took it slow and communicated while we were getting used it. He was gentle but soon got used to it and proper fucked my ass. We quickly agreed that this was the way to go and we never looked back. We now have 2 other couples who are also AO and we get together and have so much fun. It has evolved far beyond my wildest dreams and I couldn't be happier.