New to this lifestyle

[sana]

Hi.
I am Sana.
Im 39 Indian woman from Chennai, currently living in Sydney. I've been sexually active since i was 16 with both men and women.
I tend to more romantically inclined towards women; but mostly sleep with men.

I am married, but have a secret life outside my marriage that i share with my bf and his wife.

We have been having our relationships regular for about 5 years now. Recently my bf wanted me to go AO.
So I have been doing it for almost a month now.

[Canassman]

Welcome. Can u tell us more? How is it going? Do u enjoy being AO? How has the transition gone? Any problems?

[sana]

Not so if im doing this the most efficient way. Just stopped VS altogether when I was asked to.
It has been hard tbh. I am really craving an orgasm release from my vag.
Its been a month in so far so still new.

My BF also suggested Oral Only.. but i told him I need to feel filled. So we went with AO after some discussion. The idea was to incorporate a new challenge in our relationship as I am doing this outside my wedding as a mark of commitment to him and also explore a more intense intimate relation (which I am beginning to see) with him.

It is challenging as I had been very sexual and actively hooking up with multiple partners before. I feel more grounded and wanting more intimacy from just my bf- unless he tells me that ... are joining... I haven't gone out to actively seek sex ourside our relationship. (my husband is a different matter)

The need for release from my vagina and clit is the hardest part i am struggling with. The mental stimulation from any sex act, be it kissing, sucking or anal.. its all very overwhelming now compared to before.

[sana]

Is what I am doing best practice.

I have stopped all birth control (pills and diaphragm)
This also has an effect on me when I am with my bf. I feel like I want him to inpregnate me.

This is what i did when i started and have been maintaining since.
No masturbation or sex via vagina
No direct stimulation (only clitoral pumping as per my daily routine) to my clitoris
No vaginal penetration at all including fingers, dildos, tampons and penises.

Am I supposed to forbid any kind of vaginal contact at all. Or can I get a release from time to time? I also dont want my vagina to get loose- am I allowed to dialate with an inflatable dildo?

[sana]

Another point I am interested in is the effect of ejaculation that I am interested in. I have done some limited research.
When a man cums in your vagina during sex there is a certain reaction and absorption It creates bonding and mixes with your dna. I am interested in the difference if a man cums in your butt. I have read that the absorption is higher and it gets into your blood more intensely.

I rarely use condoms since I started exploring sexuality and have almost always had men cum inside me (many sessions with multiple men). There is definitely something different happening, but I do not fully understand it yet.

[Backdoorlover]

Who said you can’t have vaginal orgasms ? Anal only means only anal penetration, while fucking, to me. I would never tell my girlfriend her pussy is off limits. I will never keep her from having release, through clitoral orgasms, while I am assfucking her.

To me anal only means I will not fuck her pussy anymore and that’s exactly what she wants too. She enjoys anal much more and never hesitated to stop pussy fucks.

So I get the impression that your boyfriend gets off on fully controlling you. Giving you rules to follow. That is not a mandatory part of AO lifestyle.

[aNewFrivolity]

Hi Sana! Welcome to the forum and so good to have you here. There's a lot of info to go through, so I'll break it down into multiple posts ...

[aNewFrivolity]

Is what I am doing best practice.

I have stopped all birth control (pills and diaphragm)
This also has an effect on me when I am with my bf. I feel like I want him to inpregnate me.

This is what i did when i started and have been maintaining since.
No masturbation or sex via vagina
No direct stimulation (only clitoral pumping as per my daily routine) to my clitoris
No vaginal penetration at all including fingers, dildos, tampons and penises.

Am I supposed to forbid any kind of vaginal contact at all. Or can I get a release from time to time? I also dont want my vagina to get loose- am I allowed to dialate with an inflatable dildo?

It seems like you're under the impression there are a number of rules set in stone for how AO should work. There are challenges people set for themselves to achieve new heights of pleasure, like cutting out clitoral stimulation to achieve "pure" anal orgasms, sure, but everyone here is different and whatever makes AO feel best for you is your best way to do it.

I'm curious about the daily clit pumping, I have never heard of it. Why do you do it?

[aNewFrivolity]

Another point I am interested in is the effect of ejaculation that I am interested in. I have done some limited research.
When a man cums in your vagina during sex there is a certain reaction and absorption It creates bonding and mixes with your dna. I am interested in the difference if a man cums in your butt. I have read that the absorption is higher and it gets into your blood more intensely.

I rarely use condoms since I started exploring sexuality and have almost always had men cum inside me (many sessions with multiple men). There is definitely something different happening, but I do not fully understand it yet.

From what I've read, yes, the rectum is more absorbent than the walls of the vagina. No DNA is mixed though. There's anecdotal evidence of a stronger bond, and sometimes heightened mood as well, but it's not clear if that's because of the sperm being absorbed or emotional factors coming with anal sex.

[aNewFrivolity]

I agree with Backdoorlover that what you describe sounds like a bit of a BDSM dynamic between your boyfriend and you. Some effects of going AO you describe sound like you enjoy it very much, others like you're at least unsure or even unhappy with them.
Are you fully happy with the decision to go AO? Did your boyfriend just decide on it, or did you have a word in the discussion as well?
And how does your husband fit into all of this?

It's a very complex situation to say the least.