New to this lifestyle

[sana]

I agree with Backdoorlover that what you describe sounds like a bit of a BDSM dynamic between your boyfriend and you. Some effects of going AO you describe sound like you enjoy it very much, others like you're at least unsure or even unhappy with them.
Are you fully happy with the decision to go AO? Did your boyfriend just decide on it, or did you have a word in the discussion as well?
And how does your husband fit into all of this?

It's a very complex situation to say the least.

I can't say yet that enjoy it more overall yet. I can say there are some things i do enjoy more. Trying to see how i can make the most of the experience.

Lack of vaginal and clitoral stimulation is really difficult at the moment; but at the same time its been amplifying other sensations and feelings. So im not going to say I hate it.
As frustrated as I am right now with not having and orgasm the past month, Im loving the heightened mental and emotional state. Im really interested in seeing where this will take me.

I actually cried to my bf after making love yesterday in a complete state of surrender. I feel so much more needy and submissive. Ive always been quite aggressive. Its a very different dynamic for me. It feels so feminine to be like this. I never know I could be like this, or that this was even in my nature.

My bf did discuss this with me as kind of a commitment thing with him he wanted to try with me for our relationship. I can say I have been very committed to sex with him since we started this.- no other hookups or partners except for those he tells me to have sex with. And its always been with him there. This is the closest i have ever been to being in an exclusive relationship

I am happy with the decision to try this lifestyle and am glad im taking the challenge and commitment.

My husband does not know about my other life and my bf and all.

[aNewFrivolity]

I agree with Backdoorlover that what you describe sounds like a bit of a BDSM dynamic between your boyfriend and you. Some effects of going AO you describe sound like you enjoy it very much, others like you're at least unsure or even unhappy with them.
Are you fully happy with the decision to go AO? Did your boyfriend just decide on it, or did you have a word in the discussion as well?
And how does your husband fit into all of this?

It's a very complex situation to say the least.

I can't say yet that enjoy it more overall yet. I can say there are some things i do enjoy more. Trying to see how i can make the most of the experience.

Lack of vaginal and clitoral stimulation is really difficult at the moment; but at the same time its been amplifying other sensations and feelings. So im not going to say I hate it.
As frustrated as I am right now with not having and orgasm the past month, Im loving the heightened mental and emotional state. Im really interested in seeing where this will take me.

I actually cried to my bf after making love yesterday in a complete state of surrender. I feel so much more needy and submissive. Ive always been quite aggressive. Its a very different dynamic for me. It feels so feminine to be like this. I never know I could be like this, or that this was even in my nature.

My bf did discuss this with me as kind of a commitment thing with him he wanted to try with me for our relationship. I can say I have been very committed to sex with him since we started this.- no other hookups or partners except for those he tells me to have sex with. And its always been with him there. This is the closest i have ever been to being in an exclusive relationship

I am happy with the decision to try this lifestyle and am glad im taking the challenge and commitment.

My husband does not know about my other life and my bf and all.

I see! So you're trying out if it's what you want. I wish you the best of luck and much enjoyment!
If you have questions about how you can enhance your anal pleasure, feel free to ask, or how to further commit to your version of the AO lifestyle!

Can you explain the daily clit pumping to me, though? Why do you do it, is it part of your agreement with your boyfriend as well? Or something you've always done? What purpose does it serve?

[sana]

Is what I am doing best practice.

I have stopped all birth control (pills and diaphragm)
This also has an effect on me when I am with my bf. I feel like I want him to inpregnate me.

This is what i did when i started and have been maintaining since.
No masturbation or sex via vagina
No direct stimulation (only clitoral pumping as per my daily routine) to my clitoris
No vaginal penetration at all including fingers, dildos, tampons and penises.

Am I supposed to forbid any kind of vaginal contact at all. Or can I get a release from time to time? I also dont want my vagina to get loose- am I allowed to dialate with an inflatable dildo?

It seems like you're under the impression there are a number of rules set in stone for how AO should work. There are challenges people set for themselves to achieve new heights of pleasure, like cutting out clitoral stimulation to achieve "pure" anal orgasms, sure, but everyone here is different and whatever makes AO feel best for you is your best way to do it.

I'm curious about the daily clit pumping, I have never heard of it. Why do you do it?

Clitoral pumping is a using a vacuum pump on the clitoris. I makes it thicker and longer and also more sensitive. Its similar to men using a penis pump. Over time the clitoris get bigger. Ive been doing it for 10 years now. Its been a fantasy or mine having a dick so I can be more dominant and in control- this part has really faded since I started AO.

Any tips on Anal orgasms? Ive never had one before. I have read that it is very intense and many women never go back once they can achieve it.

[sana]

I agree with Backdoorlover that what you describe sounds like a bit of a BDSM dynamic between your boyfriend and you. Some effects of going AO you describe sound like you enjoy it very much, others like you're at least unsure or even unhappy with them.
Are you fully happy with the decision to go AO? Did your boyfriend just decide on it, or did you have a word in the discussion as well?
And how does your husband fit into all of this?

It's a very complex situation to say the least.

I can't say yet that enjoy it more overall yet. I can say there are some things i do enjoy more. Trying to see how i can make the most of the experience.

Lack of vaginal and clitoral stimulation is really difficult at the moment; but at the same time its been amplifying other sensations and feelings. So im not going to say I hate it.
As frustrated as I am right now with not having and orgasm the past month, Im loving the heightened mental and emotional state. Im really interested in seeing where this will take me.

I actually cried to my bf after making love yesterday in a complete state of surrender. I feel so much more needy and submissive. Ive always been quite aggressive. Its a very different dynamic for me. It feels so feminine to be like this. I never know I could be like this, or that this was even in my nature.

My bf did discuss this with me as kind of a commitment thing with him he wanted to try with me for our relationship. I can say I have been very committed to sex with him since we started this.- no other hookups or partners except for those he tells me to have sex with. And its always been with him there. This is the closest i have ever been to being in an exclusive relationship

I am happy with the decision to try this lifestyle and am glad im taking the challenge and commitment.

My husband does not know about my other life and my bf and all.

I see! So you're trying out if it's what you want. I wish you the best of luck and much enjoyment!
If you have questions about how you can enhance your anal pleasure, feel free to ask, or how to further commit to your version of the AO lifestyle!

Can you explain the daily clit pumping to me, though? Why do you do it, is it part of your agreement with your boyfriend as well? Or something you've always done? What purpose does it serve?

The clit pumping is my thing. Ive been doing it since before i met him.

[sana]

Another point I am interested in is the effect of ejaculation that I am interested in. I have done some limited research.
When a man cums in your vagina during sex there is a certain reaction and absorption It creates bonding and mixes with your dna. I am interested in the difference if a man cums in your butt. I have read that the absorption is higher and it gets into your blood more intensely.

I rarely use condoms since I started exploring sexuality and have almost always had men cum inside me (many sessions with multiple men). There is definitely something different happening, but I do not fully understand it yet.

From what I've read, yes, the rectum is more absorbent than the walls of the vagina. No DNA is mixed though. There's anecdotal evidence of a stronger bond, and sometimes heightened mood as well, but it's not clear if that's because of the sperm being absorbed or emotional factors coming with anal sex.

I find this very interesting. I was told by some biotechnologists there is a dna interaction.. maybe mixing is not the right word.

Stronger bond 100%. Its very addictive. I feel like i keep needing from the same source. But that may not have anything to do with the sperm at all.

Before AO id almost always have the man cum inside my vagina (or mouth). If it was a group thing there may be 7 or 8 guys that would cum in me one by one, but I cant say i really cared who it was. Sure i can compare performance, size strength ect... but it didnt really matter much.

Last week my bf had 4 other guys (and 2 girls). They all ejaculated in me.. The difference was i was waiting for my bf after each one. His cum was what mattered. I dont know if others have experienced this type of shift before?

[aNewFrivolity]

I find this very interesting. I was told by some biotechnologists there is a dna interaction.. maybe mixing is not the right word.

Stronger bond 100%. Its very addictive. I feel like i keep needing from the same source. But that may not have anything to do with the sperm at all.

Before AO id almost always have the man cum inside my vagina (or mouth). If it was a group thing there may be 7 or 8 guys that would cum in me one by one, but I cant say i really cared who it was. Sure i can compare performance, size strength ect... but it didnt really matter much.

Last week my bf had 4 other guys (and 2 girls). They all ejaculated in me.. The difference was i was waiting for my bf after each one. His cum was what mattered. I dont know if others have experienced this type of shift before?

I can't say that I have experienced that need for another person's cum, but I've certainly felt intense ... intimacy with women I have dominated, and they have felt the same for me. A very strong bond was forged by regular submission to my desires, and we couldn't get enough of each other. It went so far that they actually felt, in a very real, not only a role-playing sense, that I owned them.

[Backdoorlover]

So @sana, as far as I read your answers it seems you are okay with his rules and even feel some sort of deeper connection because he’s in control.

[Colt1911]

@sana Welcome to the group. There are no “rules” for sex between consenting adults. Some women experience anal orgasm without clit stimulation and some do. The idea behind no clit stimulation is to help a woman experience anal orgasm on its own. They’re quite powerful in our experience.

We had a terrible experience with birth control meds. We believe birth control meds killed my wife’s libido. When her libido returned with the help of hormone replacement therapy (including testosterone which all women need) she discovered true anal pleasure. She also believes me ejaculating deep in her bowel helps improve mood and libido.

I hope you enjoy your anal journey and time in this group.

[sana]

Yes by bf is very much in control. I would dare to say he does own me. This lifestyle was a way of giving him ownership. The discussion with him was about making a kind exclusive relationship for us because i was not just any other girl to him and he wanted to have something special with me.

His wife is very close to me and has encouraged our relationship. She has been into swinger lifestyle for more than 10 years now. She is very dominant, especially towards other women who enter our circle. She is very strict with her no creampie policy. I have never seen anyone cum in her before. My bf even told me she doesn't allow it from anyone.

One more thing i noticed.. he has always been having sex with other women and men since i have known him. Nowadays i get jealous when i know he is sleeping with someone else. It never used to bother me. A few days ago I brought a friend who is interested i casual swinging and I felt so sick watching him consume her. The worst was watching them go into a room together and close the door... torture.

I even feel a bit jealous of his wife sometimes. Even though I know he has the most sex with me compared to other partners.

[aNewFrivolity]

That's very interesting. Do you enjoy this kind of jealousy or does it make it harder to live the swinging lifestyle with him? Or do you enjoy it precisely because it makes it harder?