Hello

[urabus]

Hi,

I joined yesterday. I'm a 36 year old male living in Melbourne, Australia.

I have always been fascinated by anal play and tried anal sex with a couple of girlfriends in the past. My wife and I tried anal not long after getting to know each other and it blew my mind. It was a totally pleasurable experience for us both. That was 7 years ago.

In the last year we've gone anal only for no more than a few months at a time. I'd like to make it permanent but she says its such a special thing that she doesn't want it to become the norm. Perhaps I can alter her feelings toward this in the future.

I'm happy to have found this forum and looking forward to learning more. I think learning more could very well help us getting closer to more AO and maybe even permanent AO.

[analsexonly]

Welcome!

[marcus]

Hello and welcome.

In the last year we've gone anal only for no more than a few months at a time.

That you've done so is an encouraging sign. Most people never get that far. Moreover, by being AO for months at a time you've also demonstrated both to her and yourself that this isn't just a fleeting desire or something you want to try or experience but something more that is more fundamental to your sexual hapiness.

I'd like to make it permanent but she says its such a special thing that she doesn't want it to become the norm. Perhaps I can alter her feelings toward this in the future.

The bad news, I'm afraid to say, is that I believe such a statement isn't entirely honest. That is often used as a cover for some other issue - perhaps one she doesn't understand or know how to express, or because she's hiding the reason because she doesn't want to disappoint you. One that I've heard time and again is the secret nagging fear that she has that too much anal will cause some permanent harm, which is as we all know completely untrue (and the opposite if anything).

I'm happy to have found this forum and looking forward to learning more. I think learning more could very well help us getting closer to more AO and maybe even permanent AO.

If it makes you feel better, it took my wife and I years to become fully AO. It does take time, but you can get there.

[amorous945]

Welcome, glad to have you aboard!

[urabus]

Thanks everyone.

@marcus, she is concered about damage and possibly permanent damage to the anus and colon. I'm searching for information relieve her concerns.

[marcus]

Thanks everyone.

@marcus, she is concered about damage and possibly permanent damage to the anus and colon. I'm searching for information relieve her concerns.

So if it were not for that fear then you believe she would be happy to go AO with you? It is a difficult one to disprove, because their is no medical evidence anywhere which says frequent anal sex causes damage, yet nor is there anything to say it doesn't. Unfortunately, those who are for whatever reason anti-anal keep repeating the story that it does cause harm.

[Marquis]

Thanks everyone.

@marcus, she is concered about damage and possibly permanent damage to the anus and colon. I'm searching for information relieve her concerns.

So if it were not for that fear then you believe she would be happy to go AO with you? It is a difficult one to disprove, because their is no medical evidence anywhere which says frequent anal sex causes damage, yet nor is there anything to say it doesn't. Unfortunately, those who are for whatever reason anti-anal keep repeating the story that it does cause harm.

Shouldn't we have, at the very least, testimony from older gay bottoms and their doctors?

It strikes me that:

1. The fact that long term damaging effects have NOT been identified in this obvious and accessible sample group would imply that they dont exist

and

2. It's pretty strange that there isn't more recognized research we could point to that demonstrates this, no?

[amorous945]

There is a book that I once read that has a lot of good information about these concerns. It's called "Anal pleasure and health," by Jack Morin. I'm not sure it's even still in print, but it's worth a read for those who have concerns.

By way of personal testimony, my wife and I have been practicing anal sex as our main form of intercourse for 20 or more years now, and her anus is just as tight as it ever has been.

[marcus]

Shouldn't we have, at the very least, testimony from older gay bottoms and their doctors?

It strikes me that:

1. The fact that long term damaging effects have NOT been identified in this obvious and accessible sample group would imply that they dont exist

and

2. It's pretty strange that there isn't more recognized research we could point to that demonstrates this, no?

I wholeheartedly agree that long-term anal isn't a problem, but the sad fact is that (as far as I'm aware) there is no published research in this area. Which unfortunately gives free reign to those who'd say otherwise.

I almost suspect anything positive said about anal would be hushed up by the medical establishment, for fear of their reputations. Somethings are still not allowed to be spoken or acknowledged, even in this day and age.

[the2beans]

I wholeheartedly agree that long-term anal isn't a problem, but the sad fact is that (as far as I'm aware) there is no published research in this area. Which unfortunately gives free reign to those who'd say otherwise.

I almost suspect anything positive said about anal would be hushed up by the medical establishment, for fear of their reputations. Somethings are still not allowed to be spoken or acknowledged, even in this day and age.

To be fair to the medical professionals, I think it would be just as incorrect to advocate as to oppose anal sex since, as you noted, there is a lack of significant research-based evidence on the subject to either side of the argument. For what it's worth, I have discussed with more than one Doctor that we engage in anal intercourse and anal play regularly and at least these Doctors specifically didn't have anything negative to say about that.

Until there is a closely controlled study on the subject, I don't think there will ever be any truly meaningful evidence to prove whether long-term anal sex is or is not a detriment. All of the accounts from people like myself and marcus are only heresay, just as are the silly claims from people that anal sex will result in permanent damage.

There are certainly real potential risks associated with doing anal sex incorrectly, but what is correct or not is subjective based on the experience and preferences of the receiver. Since a real scientific study is a pipe-dream, I think the most likely way that anal sex is going to continue to gain acceptance (as I believe it is gaining currently), is for women to stop being sheepish about it and talk about it openly. If more women would be willing to admit it to their friends, this would certainly help cause a gradual increase in open-mindedness toward it.

Of course, that's easier said than done. My wife and I have been having anal almost exclusively for over 6 months running and she would still never talk to her friends about it because of the fear of being seen as a slut/weirdo/etc. On the other hand, I can almost guarantee that if one of HER friends brought up the subject and admitted to enjoying it, then she would likely follow suit and be willing to open up about it. It's just a matter of someone starting the chain reaction.