Hamburgartjuven wrote:Hi!
Im a swedish guy, 37 years old who have been an anal masturbator for all my life. Been married for 8 years to a multiorgasmic woman who is filled with inhibitions... Very frustraiting. She doesnt like vaginal but has never had good anal an wont let me teach her. I prefer playing the gaping game rather than deep penetration.
She has fucked me sometimes with a strapon and once a year or so I get her to play a bit with my ass (dildos or fingers) and that always makes her come really hard.
She gets 7-10 orgasms in a row when playing with her magic wand and demands at least 3 when i lick her clitoris. Her contraction are in the lowest part of the vagina but her ass goes On like the mouth of a cod with a panic attack
So... The posibilities physically for her to love being AOL is huge (and the fact that I love being fucked and masturbate my ass helps)... But how do I do to get there :'(
Hi, and welcome to the forum! By the way I love your description of your wife's anal contractions ("like the mouth of a cod with a panic attack"). Great description.
In terms of warming your wife up to the idea of butt sex, there are a lot of things you can try. What worked with my wife (who was also pretty inhibited until her late 30s) was a combination of things:
First I got a Kindle that my wife and I used just for erotica and books about sex. This was good because my wife is an avid reader, but she wasn't so comfortable talking about sexual topics outright. But she'll read pretty kinky stuff if I bookmark it for her. Anyway these books got her horny and thinking more broadly about sex. A book by Tristan Taormino, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, was very helpful. It's written by a woman and encourages women to experiment. So this was a nonthreatening source of information that got us started talking.
I also worked on getting my wife used to anal contact long before we started having anal sex. It started with touch and licking (rimming) her there, which just about everybody agrees feel good. Then it progressed to butt plugs, and we went through a phase where most of the time that we'd go out to a restaurant for example, my wife would have a plug in her ass. As you probably know from your experience, getting used to having something there was an important step.
The other thing I tried to promote was for my wife to always have a plug in when she has an orgasm. Since your wife is multi-orgasmic this should work for her. Insert the plug into her toward the beginning of when you have sex, so that when she has an orgasm she gets used to the feeling of having her ass full at the same time. For my wife this was an important step on the road to thinking of the anus as a source of sexual pleasure. You're building these associations in her mind.
The last thing I'll stress is the importance of conveying your emotions and desires to your wife. My wife really feeds off my enthusiasm and passion. When I am horny it makes her feel horny too -- she's very receptive that way. Anyway for anal I always tried to convey to her how sexy I thought it was when she has something in her ass, and how amazing it feels to fuck her there. Every woman is different in how they're receptive to passion so I can't offer specific advice, but I will say this is a big part of getting your partner to try something new.
These are just ideas. The important thing is do whatever you're comfortable doing in your situation. Just be brave and start the conversation because there's a good chance it will lead somewhere great!
