Flashing forward to the present. My wife had an early and difficult menopause. After it was over she complained that vaginal sex was painful and wouldn't try anal. Then she lost interest altogether.
Much to my surprise she just announced that she would like to try to have sex again. Of could I am very excited at the prospect. But also fearful that she will complain of pain and shut down again
So my thought is to propose that we go anal only which for me would be heaven. I don't want her to give up too soon. So I thought it would be best to agree on a trial period. What do you all think about a month being appropriate? And what about number of times per week? Would it be best to have daily short sessions with lots of finger play and brief penetration or fewer longer sessions with the goal of orgasm? I think wearing a but plug for a period every day might be good to get her focused on her ass. Or should that be reserved for later?
I AM really appreciative of any advice you can give me. I particularly want to hear what women think. I worry if I blow this I am in for a sexless marriage
It's not clear from your post if your it's your current wife or ex wife that had anal orgasms. How did she feel about anal sex before the menopause? What's her reason for not wanting to do anal even though it's only vaginal that's painful?
I totally understand where you are coming from as their is nothing else that puts a strain on a marriage like a dysfunctional sex life (I have an ex wife for a reason too!).
I think the advice you get here will depend on how much experience and how much your wife enjoyed anal prior to menopause and why she didn't want to try anal. Her saying she wants to have sex with you again now, is this her saying she wants vaginal or anal?
Why do you think anal only is the way to go? What makes you think she would consider your proposal fro a trial period?
Sorry for all the questions but I hope that will get you thinking and also better help forum members to advise.