Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

New to the forum? Introduce yourself to the other members of the community. Share a little bit about yourself and your anal only experience and motivations.
Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Fri Sep 07, 2018 10:54 pm

Hi! I’ve joined this forum to read on any advice to get my wife into and comfortable with anal sex... we’ve been married 5 years, have two kids and don’t really want to have more, but also not having sex either as we don’t use contraceptives.
If we could have anal sex, all my dreams would come true. But she’s not keen to try at all.
I’m into anal, and have been for years, receiving anal toys, fingers, fisting and all other anal sex acts.

Looking forward to reading through your posts.

yosemitespam
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:06 pm

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by yosemitespam » Sat Sep 08, 2018 1:45 pm

How very unusual. ;) (I don't mean to be unsympathetic, just some fellow-feeling.)

If you don't use contraceptives because your wife is a believing Orthodox or Roman Catholic Christian, there's a larger conversation that probably needs to take place. If it's for some other reason, e.g. she wants to have a much larger family than you do, some discussion would probably be good as well.

You say you've been into receiving anal. One gathers that your wife hasn't been the one giving it, or she'd surely be more adventurous.
Overall it sounds like quite a lot of conversations are in order, just to sort through all of that. It's okay to keep Christmas presents secret from one's spouse, but other sorts of secrets are generally destructive.

DW and I have recently gone more in the vaginal direction, since she prefers it and we've figured out how I can benefit as well.

Cheers

YS

Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:18 pm

Thanks for the reply
While our lack of sex is partly to avoid pregnancy. It’s more because she isn’t very “into it”. Too tired from looking after two kids and the house.
Plus I have a new theory after hearing a podcast on sexuality. Her sex drive maybe very stimulus based, she may not feel like sex till it’s already underway and she’s turned on. Where I am very spontaneous in my arrousal, so seemingly nothing will make me horny.

She has fingered me a bunch of times. And she’s ok with me using anal toys.
I’ve just got to try harder to make a couple of stress free days and relaxing evenings without the kids to have a chance at sex... and once that’s more regular, anal sex!

AnnoMundi
Posts: 148
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:31 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by AnnoMundi » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:03 am

When a child is hungry, do you not feed it? If your husband is horny, do you not see to it? It seems weird that the former always gets addressed and the latter is okay to ignore. After all both are basic needs.

User avatar
French Lover
Posts: 207
Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:21 pm
Location: Paris, France

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by French Lover » Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm

Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:43 am

French Lover wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm
Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

I agree with you here. It’s not my wife’s duty to satisfy me sexually, nor to do the housework.
We are a team, and we both know it.
It’s going to take a lot of communication, effort on my side, patience and openness.

AnnoMundi
Posts: 148
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:31 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by AnnoMundi » Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:23 am

Selffister88 wrote:
Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:43 am
French Lover wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm
Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

I agree with you here. It’s not my wife’s duty to satisfy me sexually, nor to do the housework.
We are a team, and we both know it.
It’s going to take a lot of communication, effort on my side, patience and openness.

Haha! Methinks he was being sarcastic. Not feeding your own children is not a duty? So......., letting them starve is OK? And you agree with that? :D :D :D

Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:42 pm

AnnoMundi wrote:
Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:23 am
Selffister88 wrote:
Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:43 am
French Lover wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm
Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

I agree with you here. It’s not my wife’s duty to satisfy me sexually, nor to do the housework.
We are a team, and we both know it.
It’s going to take a lot of communication, effort on my side, patience and openness.

Haha! Methinks he was being sarcastic. Not feeding your own children is not a duty? So......., letting them starve is OK? And you agree with that? :D :D :D

Haha!
No. Not entirely. But at the same time, they need to feed themselves now, mostly at least ;) breastfeeding is my wife’s duty, and she’s been amazing at that.

F655A
Posts: 86
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 12:45 pm

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by F655A » Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:01 am

My wife was not into receiving anal, but didn't mind pegging. In fact she got rather much into it. For years, I'd finish off in her vagina after a long pegging session, and we both wound up happy. My big mistake was trying to talk her into receiving. That somehow led to a sexual disconnect between us, to my immense frustration. I wound up in a sexless marriage. My advice is don't pressure her going where she doesn't want to go.

canadianbuttluvr
Posts: 49
Joined: Tue May 09, 2017 10:50 am
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by canadianbuttluvr » Sat Nov 27, 2021 8:17 pm

I am a few years late to this thread, but replying in the event you are still struggling or for anyone else that might read this…

My wife and I were married for 15 years before she was open to anal. I was desperate for it, she wasn’t. It took years of conversation to get her even open to the idea and when she said finally she was willing to try, she was very insistent that penetration can only be very little, as that’s all she was up for. The big night came and I completely fucked it up. The next day at work she told me she didn’t like it. Her complaint was that I almost forgot about her enjoyment, and could only think about fucking her in the ass.

So learn from my advice, in a couple regards;

1) Stick with it. I took another 10 years from where you are to get my wife even open to the idea.
2) if your wife does change her mind, no matter how badly you want anal, learn from my mistake! Go into it with a mindset that it’s all about her. Get into a comfortable position, tell her you love her, touch her in ways that she likes. My wife and I typically spoon cause it’s comfortable for her and I put my arm under her so that I can rub her clit the entire time. Don’t jerk off, make sure you can get wood and keep it hard. Anal needs to be about the both of you, not just one person getting off while the other is hesitant. This is my biggest advice!

Today? My wife and I are almost married 22 years and she admits she really enjoys anal. We’ve gone well past shallow penetration, when my wife is opened up and into it she is literally yelling out for me to pound her asshole. As she is approaching orgasm, I am rubbing her clit furiously, pushing her closer to the moment where I can feel her asshole literally clench around the absolute base of my cock. Long gone are her using her hands to hold me back, she literally is desperate for me to be absolutely balls deep as we both cum. Moreover now that we are in our almost mid 40s, the days of us having multiple orgasms are almost entirely in the rear view mirror-unless we have anal. Just the other day, I fucked my wife in the ass until she came, ate her out for round two, and then went back in her ass for round 3 at which point I exploded.

Almost 22 years ago, I married a beautiful girl who I loved but who was very timid sexually. Outside of vanilla sex, everything else has been me trying to pull her along and make her more adventurous. Today, I love my wife much more than when I married her, I have a wife that literally loves cum and will take it happily and eagerly anywhere I want to put it, whether that be on her body or any of her 3 holes. We rarely have anal when my kids are home, my wife of 22 years will scream out things like “im an anal whore”, “pound my asshole”, “dump your load in my ass”. I have a picture on my desk of her sitting on the stairs in a wedding dress-she was hot as hell back then, I never knew that I would end up with a cum loving, anal loving wife.

You’ve got to play the long game-some women take time. If your time comes, make it about the two of you, and let her get off and you will be in your way…

Post Reply