Predisposition to AO?
Predisposition to AO?
I would like to bring a topic for community discussion. Allow me to make a brief report to explain the reason for my doubt. We have 3 children. The older girl has come of age (although I am not the biological father, whoever is a father knows that the daughter never ceases to be his little girl). My wife and I were a little suspicious of our daughter's behavior and decided to investigate her cell phone. I'm not going to tell you any details because I don't want to sexualize the history but we discovered with some surprise that she is also adept at a anal-centric sex life. No requests for details, please.
I confess that as a protective stepfather I felt very uncomfortable but I cannot be a hypocrite. One day we were her age... But to reason better could this disposition have a genetic component alien to our experiences or conditioning of learned behavior? A innate predisposition to AO?
So ... What could be the origin of the only anal lifestyle? What do you think?
I confess that as a protective stepfather I felt very uncomfortable but I cannot be a hypocrite. One day we were her age... But to reason better could this disposition have a genetic component alien to our experiences or conditioning of learned behavior? A innate predisposition to AO?
So ... What could be the origin of the only anal lifestyle? What do you think?
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Re: Predisposition to AO?
After many years of studying people's sexuality (at first and second hand) I'm here to tell you that sexuality - and the reasons behind it - are far more varied than we ever used to think.
Now that we are much freer to talk about it, it turns out that the majority of people are interested in anal play (although most of those are inhibited by societal pressure, a bad experience, or the effort involved).
Your daughter's reasons may vary all the way from the accidental discovery of a pleasure zone to some darker issue. At her age, the former is much more likely.
Frankly, if I came across that information about one of my kids I'd be proud of them for going outside the square.
And btw what you have done is the same as reading someone's private diary. That never ends well...
Now that we are much freer to talk about it, it turns out that the majority of people are interested in anal play (although most of those are inhibited by societal pressure, a bad experience, or the effort involved).
Your daughter's reasons may vary all the way from the accidental discovery of a pleasure zone to some darker issue. At her age, the former is much more likely.
Frankly, if I came across that information about one of my kids I'd be proud of them for going outside the square.
And btw what you have done is the same as reading someone's private diary. That never ends well...
It's a lifestyle folks not a 2 minute sprint
Re: Predisposition to AO?
I'm a gay guy who, before even knowing that homosexuality existed, felt the urge to be fucked up the ass, and never got really satisfying pleasure from his cock, to the point I followed analsexonly's advice for women and stopped stimulating my cock altogether to have more anal pleasure (and it worked).
To me, anal sex felt so obvious that I was very surprised to discover girls had another hole, and it was that one that was "supposed" to be fucked.
So, I do believe in predestination/predisposition. I also always got the urge to be sexually submissive, from my very first fantasies as a kid/teen to now. My sex life was about finding a way to accept and channel my natural urges properly, and use them to make my partners enjoy them.
The good news is also that you don't have to worry about her getting accidentally pregnant, or sick from taking the pill.
To me, anal sex felt so obvious that I was very surprised to discover girls had another hole, and it was that one that was "supposed" to be fucked.
So, I do believe in predestination/predisposition. I also always got the urge to be sexually submissive, from my very first fantasies as a kid/teen to now. My sex life was about finding a way to accept and channel my natural urges properly, and use them to make my partners enjoy them.
The good news is also that you don't have to worry about her getting accidentally pregnant, or sick from taking the pill.
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Re: Predisposition to AO?
I do not think that there is a genetic predisposition, there is no such thing as homosexuality, they are myths, the genes that influence sexuality are many combined, there is no one gene that makes you more predisposed to something, to this is added the psychosexual development childish, which is more symbolic and not genital but it marks us a lot, and then the social, her friends, her fantasies, what she has learned from the world.
We are living beings, bio-psycho-social, many factors influence at the same time.
Finally, I think it is bad, that you invade her privacy, if you educated her well she will take care of herself, but seeing her private messages is not correct. It is her sex life and privacy, are her decisions. you must respect that, you dont protect it knowing what you are telling us, you can actually cause the opposite effect.
If she is confident enough, she will talk it over, surely with her mother, and if not, she will talk it over with friends but she would feel horrible if she knows that you stuck your nose in her intimate affairs.
It is very bad, if they did it to me I would get very very angry.
We are living beings, bio-psycho-social, many factors influence at the same time.
Finally, I think it is bad, that you invade her privacy, if you educated her well she will take care of herself, but seeing her private messages is not correct. It is her sex life and privacy, are her decisions. you must respect that, you dont protect it knowing what you are telling us, you can actually cause the opposite effect.
If she is confident enough, she will talk it over, surely with her mother, and if not, she will talk it over with friends but she would feel horrible if she knows that you stuck your nose in her intimate affairs.
It is very bad, if they did it to me I would get very very angry.
"break my ass not my heart"
Re: Predisposition to AO?
@julietagc: I'm afraid you don't know any of that, and nobody does.
What I do point out here is my own experience, and you can't argue about that, can you? Tons of things occurred naturally to me without me having ever heard or seen about it before. Anal sex DOES come naturally to a lot of people, it's always been here and always will be, and like orientation, it has to come from somewhere. Without necessarily talking about genetics (which YOU bring up here), I do think some people are built a certain way, because I experienced that. And in my experience, you have to accept the way you are built, and try to live it in the most positive possible way.
I do think humans are programmed to enjoy anal sex, because it works so well, we HAVE to be tailored for it. From there, it's not illogical to think that this programming might be stronger in some lines than in others.
Also, I disagree about privacy. Children and teenagers are to be watched and cared for by their parents. Tons of parents mourn: "I didn't have any idea about this" when something horrible happen to their kid, and I'm not sure they feel any better by thinking they respected some kind of grand principle. It's way too comfortable to speak about principles when it's not your kid, and when you don't have all the information. I know people who destroyed themselves, and I wished someone had invaded a little bit more their privacy before it was too late. That's why parents are there.
What I do point out here is my own experience, and you can't argue about that, can you? Tons of things occurred naturally to me without me having ever heard or seen about it before. Anal sex DOES come naturally to a lot of people, it's always been here and always will be, and like orientation, it has to come from somewhere. Without necessarily talking about genetics (which YOU bring up here), I do think some people are built a certain way, because I experienced that. And in my experience, you have to accept the way you are built, and try to live it in the most positive possible way.
I do think humans are programmed to enjoy anal sex, because it works so well, we HAVE to be tailored for it. From there, it's not illogical to think that this programming might be stronger in some lines than in others.
Also, I disagree about privacy. Children and teenagers are to be watched and cared for by their parents. Tons of parents mourn: "I didn't have any idea about this" when something horrible happen to their kid, and I'm not sure they feel any better by thinking they respected some kind of grand principle. It's way too comfortable to speak about principles when it's not your kid, and when you don't have all the information. I know people who destroyed themselves, and I wished someone had invaded a little bit more their privacy before it was too late. That's why parents are there.
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Re: Predisposition to AO?
I take your point about privacy but you are committing a breach of trust. And trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship.
My ex wife found our daughter's private diary and decided to talk to her about issues she found there. A decade on, they have still not fully reconciled.
My ex wife found our daughter's private diary and decided to talk to her about issues she found there. A decade on, they have still not fully reconciled.
It's a lifestyle folks not a 2 minute sprint
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Re: Predisposition to AO?
@Samy
you speak from your personal experience, your experience is totally subjective, you are unconscious of your psychological processes that formed you since you were born. What I said does not conflict with your experience, I mark a fact that human sexuality has components, bio-psycho-social and do not ances with a predisposition to anything, it is something that comes from together with you subtly. It is studied, both from biology and from psychology.
I dont agree whit you, violating their privacy, you break their trust, a healthy relationship based on trust, if you have seen cases where bad things have happened, that is not because parents become more invasive, it is because they failed When it comes to educating them, because if you educate your son or daughter well, he/she will have the tools to avoid falling into bad things.
My parents never controlled me, they did not invade my life, nor did they limit me in those aspects, they just informed me, they educated me and taught me to think before acting, they taught me to know what consequences different actions could have, neither my father nor my mother got into my intimate life, and I never had any problem, no drugs, no pregnancy, no violence or anything, I've done a lot of crazy things and perversions as a teenager, so much that you like to talk about experiences, because the mine is testimony to the contrary of what you say.
I know that bad things happen, but this is not fought for invading the privacy of your children, it is fought by educating, communicating, forming a critical mind, thinking about your children so that they do not fall into bad hands later. Many parents fail in that, in forming a bond of trust and communication, they dont speak, they dont pay attention to their children until it is too late, they are full of taboos. Many references to young people is obtain from the internet, which is not always true or close to reality. The solution to this is control and invasion of privacy? Not
you speak from your personal experience, your experience is totally subjective, you are unconscious of your psychological processes that formed you since you were born. What I said does not conflict with your experience, I mark a fact that human sexuality has components, bio-psycho-social and do not ances with a predisposition to anything, it is something that comes from together with you subtly. It is studied, both from biology and from psychology.
I dont agree whit you, violating their privacy, you break their trust, a healthy relationship based on trust, if you have seen cases where bad things have happened, that is not because parents become more invasive, it is because they failed When it comes to educating them, because if you educate your son or daughter well, he/she will have the tools to avoid falling into bad things.
My parents never controlled me, they did not invade my life, nor did they limit me in those aspects, they just informed me, they educated me and taught me to think before acting, they taught me to know what consequences different actions could have, neither my father nor my mother got into my intimate life, and I never had any problem, no drugs, no pregnancy, no violence or anything, I've done a lot of crazy things and perversions as a teenager, so much that you like to talk about experiences, because the mine is testimony to the contrary of what you say.
I know that bad things happen, but this is not fought for invading the privacy of your children, it is fought by educating, communicating, forming a critical mind, thinking about your children so that they do not fall into bad hands later. Many parents fail in that, in forming a bond of trust and communication, they dont speak, they dont pay attention to their children until it is too late, they are full of taboos. Many references to young people is obtain from the internet, which is not always true or close to reality. The solution to this is control and invasion of privacy? Not
"break my ass not my heart"
Re: Predisposition to AO?
@julietagc: I speak about my experience indeed, and I'm much more qualified to talk about my experience than you. Please take off your high ground, that does not work with me at all. I'd rather talk about what I bloody know to help others than give lessons to people I don't know, like you're doing here. You have no superiority whatsoever.
Besides, you're completely ignoring the point. You speak about orientation, which in this discussion is entirely irrelevant: I could have been a guy wanting to sleep with guys and NOT want to get fucked in the ass, which is the bloody topic. I could as well be straight and still want to be fucked in the ass, like some other guys here. And the fact of the matter is, the idea spontaneously came to me from the very start, even BEFORE my orientation. That's the bloody point: to say this kind of desire can come out of the blue, before even knowing it's being done, and therefore, it means it can come out of your very being, from the way you're built. You're not just lecturing people, you're off-topic.
As for the rest, parents can't control the whole world, and tons of horrible things can happen to the best parents if they're not careful about their kid's environment. Again, you don't know the whole context, and you can't lecture people from the little information you have.
Besides, you're completely ignoring the point. You speak about orientation, which in this discussion is entirely irrelevant: I could have been a guy wanting to sleep with guys and NOT want to get fucked in the ass, which is the bloody topic. I could as well be straight and still want to be fucked in the ass, like some other guys here. And the fact of the matter is, the idea spontaneously came to me from the very start, even BEFORE my orientation. That's the bloody point: to say this kind of desire can come out of the blue, before even knowing it's being done, and therefore, it means it can come out of your very being, from the way you're built. You're not just lecturing people, you're off-topic.
As for the rest, parents can't control the whole world, and tons of horrible things can happen to the best parents if they're not careful about their kid's environment. Again, you don't know the whole context, and you can't lecture people from the little information you have.
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Re: Predisposition to AO?
@Samy
Yes, it is your experience and you can talk about it, but it does not give you complete knowledge just to live it, because you are not aware of how your being is formed since you are born.
I did not want to give you an impression of superiority, I just focused on facts.
We are talking about a predisposition to anal sex, I did not say that this has to do with homosexuality, I said that like every component of our sexuality, it is something bio-psycho-social and not something that you have for genes or because you are already born that way, it is form with all those 3 variables at the same time, and you cannot know this from your personal experience.
As for invading the privacy of children, it was my opinion, my point of view, which I expressed as a result of that person's post. You think I am wrong and I think you are wrong. They are your opinions, for you it is good to invade that privacy for a certain "security" and I believe that doing that will only make the situation worse, you do not solve those problems with control and invasion, putting myself in her place I would not like, that was what said.
There will be people who agree and disagree, at this point it is not information, if I do not know the context it is because he did not say, he will take what I said and knowing the context he will reflect on it.
Simple.
Yes, it is your experience and you can talk about it, but it does not give you complete knowledge just to live it, because you are not aware of how your being is formed since you are born.
I did not want to give you an impression of superiority, I just focused on facts.
We are talking about a predisposition to anal sex, I did not say that this has to do with homosexuality, I said that like every component of our sexuality, it is something bio-psycho-social and not something that you have for genes or because you are already born that way, it is form with all those 3 variables at the same time, and you cannot know this from your personal experience.
As for invading the privacy of children, it was my opinion, my point of view, which I expressed as a result of that person's post. You think I am wrong and I think you are wrong. They are your opinions, for you it is good to invade that privacy for a certain "security" and I believe that doing that will only make the situation worse, you do not solve those problems with control and invasion, putting myself in her place I would not like, that was what said.
There will be people who agree and disagree, at this point it is not information, if I do not know the context it is because he did not say, he will take what I said and knowing the context he will reflect on it.
Simple.
"break my ass not my heart"
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Re: Predisposition to AO?
@Samy
Summary:
He asked this "But to reason better could this provision have a genetic component alien to our experiences or conditioning of learned behavior? A innate predisposition to AO?"
My Reply: There is no predisposition to AO, our, tastes, preferences and the different components of human sexuality are developed by many factors combined, bio-psycho-social.
Added opinion: It seems wrong to invade the privacy of her daughter, her cell phone, this may be counterproductive, a lack of confidence, it could generate an even worse response from her if she were to know it.
My Answer to you: if something bad happens is a failure to educate her, invading her privacy can make this worse, not better. Being more frank, transparent and communicative will have a better response from her.
I hope I have not offended you, that seemed to me from your previous answer, I hope that now this is clearer despite our disagreement.
Summary:
He asked this "But to reason better could this provision have a genetic component alien to our experiences or conditioning of learned behavior? A innate predisposition to AO?"
My Reply: There is no predisposition to AO, our, tastes, preferences and the different components of human sexuality are developed by many factors combined, bio-psycho-social.
Added opinion: It seems wrong to invade the privacy of her daughter, her cell phone, this may be counterproductive, a lack of confidence, it could generate an even worse response from her if she were to know it.
My Answer to you: if something bad happens is a failure to educate her, invading her privacy can make this worse, not better. Being more frank, transparent and communicative will have a better response from her.
I hope I have not offended you, that seemed to me from your previous answer, I hope that now this is clearer despite our disagreement.
"break my ass not my heart"