Lack of awareness

[Rimmer]

Sorry, yes vanilla AO that is also a way to go. AO as a lifestyle and all our individual kinks are just that, our individual kinks not to be reflected or confused as being a prerequisite for being AO. Yes, I see that,

On the other forum, it is the same, there are kinks form all other angles overlapping. Where as some women are just naturally built like that and it's not, or didn't start out as a kink for them. They and their partners just enjoy talking, supporting and encouraging others. Where others, like my wife and I, found ourselves over there through our kinkiness. I guess a bit like someone who has a very tight ass hole having to train to take a cock, yet some people can take a cock straight away.

[ChrisW]

Sorry, yes vanilla AO that is also a way to go. AO as a lifestyle and all our individual kinks are just that, our individual kinks not to be reflected or confused as being a prerequisite for being AO. Yes, I see that,

The difference as I see it, is that anal-only ("vanilla" as you call it) is something that can have mainstream appeal and could be something that anyone can do and would benefit from, whereas the other kinks, not so much. I know it's a limited data but from the few replies here it's the case that nobody knew about anal-only before or thought it was possible. In many cases, finding out that others were anal-only and this was normal was the key for making the change in their own lives. I feel if there were more awareness then anal-only would perhaps get to a critical mass and there'd be more people waking up and abandoning vaginal sex.

Like I said at the start, I mostly blame the porn. It's not just anal sex, any search about any sexual thing gets buried under the porn by the algorithm. I guess that's sadly the way the world works, with information about health and education coming second place behind entertainment and making money.

[TelJ2003]

When I was anal curious I found loads of articles and videos but none of them actually explained the benefits and potential difficulties. Many articles were by psychologists, therapists or professionals who spoke mainly in clinical terms. I wanted real life advice and experiences. That's why I looked for a forum and this one is definitely the best one I have found. I discovered people who shared their advice and experienced in a way that made sense to me plus I met some great people. Thank you guys

[ChrisW]

@TelJ2003 The thing is, finding the forum can be hit and miss, depending on what search terms you use. Sure, it does turn up in search results but only if you already know what you're looking for. Sounds like you were lucky.

For example, if you search something like "vaginal sex unsatisfying" or "I don't like vaginal sex" then what you get is a bunch of articles talking about vaginal dryness or suggesting trying different positions or other ineffective solutions. Nothing to indicate that anal sex could easily replace vaginal and solve all these problems. No acknowledgement that people can not like vaginal sex and that's okay, almost like the idea is impossible.

[Rimmer]

Yes, also a lot of people will search for pictures or videos, or the search engine will bring pics and vids up and the eye will wander and random surfing begins. If you have not heard of the anal only life style, then you are unlikely to google it. Adding the word lifestyle to a search begins to home in on the forum.

[ChrisW]

I can see why lifestyle is useful for branding and maybe making anal only more friendly to the curious but I'm not sure it helps with people finding this place. It wouldn't be a word most people trying to understand their preferences would ever use. I'm no expert on how the search engines rank sites but there must be a way of making this easier to find.

I am convinced that the community could help many more people than it has.

[Backdoorlover]

I don’t know. It’s not simple to say in a conversation that we’re anal only.

[ChrisW]

I don’t know. It’s not simple to say in a conversation that we’re anal only.

But why would you ever need to? What people do online and IRL are different. I'm talking about visibility on the internet, not trying to make conversation with colleagues or friends. That would be super awkward.

[Backdoorlover]

Aah yes. Anal is kept in a taboo atmosphere. Just admitting you have anal sex is daring. Let alone going into details.

[TelJ2003]

@ChrisW
When I joined this forum I did not set out to be anal only however joined with an open mind as I loved anal sex. It seemed counter intuitive to enjoy sex without my vagina but we put or faith in the advice I got and it has transformed our love life. I was genuinely looking for advice and glad we found it