Anal advice

[John]

I really hope my marriage doesn't end up being a waste of time but anal is out of the picture which is very disappointing. But I'm not going to let that mess everything up, even if the sex life isn't that great, although she did say last night she was going to try to be more oral so that's a plus but I do wish our relationship wasn't so monotonous though.

[analgirl98]

If you are rating your marriage based on whether she will have anal sex or not doesn't that show there are probably other issues the two of you need to deal with first?

[John]

Yeah the issue is, it's her way or no way. She doesn't compromise at all. I love motorcycles but because she has lost a few family members from motorcycle accidents she doesn't want me to have one, I love anal but she doesn't, I love small airplanes but she thinks it's a waste of money, so ultimately it doesn't matter what I like or want it's all about her. But every time I mention any of those things she makes it out like I'm being selfish and don't care about her opinion which isn't the case because if it was true I would already have a motorcycle and an airplane and what ever else I want.

[F655A]

John, I'd be really tempted to offer advice, but I may be extremely biased by my 22 years of experience with my wife.

I'll just say that my first 7 years with my wife were the antithesis of what you are describing. I thought I was the luckiest guy.
Yet, once it changed into what you're describing, if I'd only been able to see what our future would be..

I'm just saying, if a path of transformation, self-sacrifice, spirituality, inner wisdom and virtual saintliness look good to you, then you're already on the path. (And the path has many forks and pitfalls, and goes on forever.) People do not change because you want them to. Only you can change, if you want to.

[John]

Unfortunately you are correct about people changing. But I shouldn't be the only one that makes sacrifice or compromise. This isn't directed at any woman in particular but most women when they get to talking about men, their favorite saying is marriage is a two way street and both parties have to put in the effort but in most of my relationships in the past the woman's idea of putting in the effort didn't evolve any effort on her part at all. And again that's not directed toward any woman in particular specialy the women on here because yaw seem to be very aware of compromise and both parties putting in the effort. And what I find very appealing is 90% of the women's post on here that I have read are of women that really enjoy and get pleasure from seeing your partner enjoy your body to its fullest and giving them pleasure. I really find that admirable and wish my wife where a little more like you, as I stated to her in several of our conversations I don't even wish to go AO although that would be amazing since I hate condoms and we don't need another kid anytime soon, but she still freaked out and made it seem like I was being selfish for even asking. Women of the forum if you have any advise I welcome your opinion as well, do you think I'm being selfish? Do you think I'm over reacting? Do you think I should just try to over look it and try to make the best of our relationship (since we have a beautiful seven month old girl this will most likely be my action unless our relationship just takes a greater turn for the worst). Do you think I'm being irrational about wanting her to compromise, not just on the sex but the other aspects of our relationship as well?