Questions

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
kingsman
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:02 am
Gender: Male

Re: Questions

Post by kingsman » Tue May 22, 2018 9:18 am

uncertain wrote:. I will say that I'm grateful for the views from my husbands side. It does make me feel a little better. It is so easy to let these things grow in your mind when you don't have any kind of reference point.

I think when the mental barriers you've erected open up a bit (as they appear to be doing) then you'll probably find that there isn't so much difference between you as you thought. I've seen it happen so often where conflict takes on a life of its own. With my own ex wife for instance haha :lol:

Your husband is a very lucky man. Believe me when I say it's going to be a huge relief to him to know it's going to be anal every time. If he's relaxed I would have thought that's also rubbing off on you. Just as with the bad things, good things can also feedback on themselves.

That my girlfriend wants to have anal sex with me makes me respect and love her more than anything. Same with your husband I'm sure, that you are offering him something truly special.

uncertain
Posts: 26
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2018 5:50 am
Gender: Female

Re: Questions

Post by uncertain » Sat May 26, 2018 6:32 am

analsexonly wrote:
Mon May 21, 2018 4:17 pm
Progress takes time, and is often a journey, and while you've likely just begun on figuring out what will ultimately work for the both of you, I think people's positive and encouraging reactions are because you both are willing to work to get there and that's a really good sign for both of you. In this situation, a lot of people would shut it down cold and it would become a major point of contention or sore subject as a result, but the fact that you're willing to research, experiment, and try to see things from multiple perspectives as well as see whether it's something that you can come around to enjoy and share at the same level as your husband, is a really positive sign.

It is a difficult thing to take yourself outside of a situation and try to see things objectively. I can see now that I have been at times harsh with my husband, indifferent to his feelings and needs, and not as open minded as I used to be. Funny thing how we change without noticing.

I always research everything! Somewhat obsessively at times, something else that my husband complains about as he just wants to get on with things. In this case I'm feeling slightly validated since I have learned a thing or two here, my initial ideas about it came from prejudice, and I can see this 'lifestyle' has worked for others.

I'm also realistic and know it isn't the magic cure all.
analsexonly wrote: From a physical perspective, as you continue to do it with greater frequency, it will continue to get significantly easier, and will keep feeling better.

Attitude can play a big role as well in enjoying it, and it sounds like you're enjoying it more since you've opened up a bit more to the idea. Taking the approach of it being something that you explore together for each other's mutual pleasure, a sexy, intimate adventure, can really make a difference in how you perceive every aspect of it. Sex should be consensual and fun for everyone, and anal only is no different in this regard.

You are correct about anal sex becoming easier, which does in turn help it to be more fun. At this stage it feels very strange to have decided to try this out and I guess I haven't had time to yet process all my feelings, such as putting vaginal sex to one side for the time being. I'm not sure what to think or feel or if I'm too analytical about something which is all about physical love.

uncertain
Posts: 26
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2018 5:50 am
Gender: Female

Re: Questions

Post by uncertain » Wed Jun 06, 2018 1:02 pm

For those that have followed this far, we have continued to hold to our agreement. So far so good. I'm no longer getting that feeling of dread about what goes on in the bedroom and I've noticed how he's been making a real effort, or at least the appearance of it. Part of me still worries that now he's getting what he wants that somewhere down the line he may forget and slide back into the old ways.

Without the above stress we've actually been enjoying the rest of the time we spend together much more. Our counsellor (who only knows about some sexual tension, not the specifics) has been saying how important a holistic approach is, and how it isn't possible to divorce (poor choice of words I thought!) one aspect from another. Up until this point we had been living very compartmentalised lives.

taylork
Posts: 203
Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2013 12:52 pm

Re: Questions

Post by taylork » Fri Jun 08, 2018 5:38 pm

Uncertain i'm so pleased that you've made it this far with AO i knew you had it in you. From the way you talk and describe things i can tell you don't give up easily and you want to make everything better with your husband. Keep sticking with what you are doing. Like we all promised it does get easier and better.

My girlfriend had some minor issues at first after sex and the bathroom, i don't know some women are effected that way. What i do know is that it has improved so much that its not really a problem any more. Analsexonly gave some great advice about letting your husband come as deep as he can as it will make it easier plus it really does have benefits as studies have shown. Plus you'll both find its something you'll naturally both want to do anyways.

uncertain
Posts: 26
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2018 5:50 am
Gender: Female

Re: Questions

Post by uncertain » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:06 pm

taylork wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 5:38 pm
Uncertain i'm so pleased that you've made it this far with AO i knew you had it in you. From the way you talk and describe things i can tell you don't give up easily and you want to make everything better with your husband. Keep sticking with what you are doing. Like we all promised it does get easier and better.

It's true that once I've set my mind on a goal I tend to see it through whatever it takes. It had become more of a personal challenge in it's way, now that I had decided to give it a go. I don't think it would be working at this point if I held been coerced or given a guilt trip about the whole thing. I'm also liking the new and improved husband who is taking more time and more interested in my enjoyment than he has in a long time.

kingsman
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:02 am
Gender: Male

Re: Questions

Post by kingsman » Sat Jun 16, 2018 3:30 pm

Other women could learn a thing or two from you. You are very determined I can see that. Now that it has been some time, do you feel you've answered any of your own questions or that they are sill relevant? What does your husband think?

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