Did I find a keeper?

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
PuckerUp
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2015 3:19 pm

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by PuckerUp » Sat Jun 09, 2018 4:56 am

That in itself a major reason she is a keeper! Women like her are pretty rare to find. Although seeing as though you want to leave her it seems like you've had your fair share and know of prospects that might be more anally obsessed as you are?

I feel that there's two components to a woman being an anal queen - there's the psychological component, the question of how much the very thought of anal turns them on, and how kinky they're willing to get with it, and then there's the physical component - do they experience pleasure, and not pain from anal? Is their rectum typically in shape for anal sex, or do they often take horrible diarrhea shits that wreck their asshole and leave a mess in there?

With my current GF, I find that it works out very well from the physical standpoint, and it's also awesome that she's almost always willing to do it. She also tells me it feels really good. But I also don't think it's a super big fetish from a psychological standpoint, and I think the big reason we do anal most of the time is because she knows it's "my thing."

I've dated other women for whom the psychological component is stronger - who get really turned on by the idea of things like rimming, A2M, etc. I went on one date with a girl who told me she A2Ms herself when she masturbates... but she had also only had anal sex a few times in her life, so who knows how well she would tolerate being fucked in the ass all the time.
You've found a gem, man!

It does seem so.
I'd be hard for me to be with someone long term who doesn't enjoy ATM. With how long you've been with her, she would be doing it by now if you've had other women do it without having to request it.

To be honest, as hot as the idea of A2M is to me, I find that in practice, it's not as nice as how hot it sounds in theory. The first time I did A2M with a girl, it was mildly disappointing. There's also the fact that in real-life anal sex, sometimes you encounter poop, and sometimes, if it's a small amount of poop, it's not immediately visible on your dick. I wouldn't wish eating poop on anybody.

I think there's a good chance I could get my GF to start doing A2M if I requested it, but frankly, I'm just so happy that we have anal sex all the time that I haven't wanted to tempt fate.

Haha to go into more detail, though (and maybe now you'll really think she's a keeper), one time, after I came in her ass, she sucked the jizz off the tip of my dick, unprompted. Rather than being really turned on, I actually felt horrified, because what she didn't realize was that the anal sex we just had was messy. But I don't think she got any shit in her mouth.

She also fingers my ass sometimes, and unhesitantly takes her finger out of my ass and puts it in her mouth to get more saliva on it. But this is more about the mechanics of getting the act done, not about craving the taste of the inside of my asshole. For what it's worth, she rims me, too, because she knows I like it, and I often rim her, but she says it doesn't really do much for her, other than that she knows I like doing it.

And now you'll all really think she's a keeper.
If you don't feel like in your heart you're getting enough anal and aren't as compatible with outside the bedroom, then perhaps you should take a risk, break it up with her and find out. There's plenty of other women who might be right for you.

I mean, it's working out pretty well for me, other than the difference in sex drives which we're trying our best to work around, and I might go through a job transition, in which case getting steady anal sex from a long-term girlfriend would be a good way to keep me focused, without dating sucking up all my energy. But ethics is a big factor in my decision to stay with her - I would just prefer not to be in a position where I'm wasting her time if I'm going to leave her anyway in the future for more experience or to find someone even more compatible.

But after reading all these comments, I'm tempted to stay. And who knows what might be in store for us over, say, the next year, and how my feelings for her might evolve.

hasani2222
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 9:49 pm

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by hasani2222 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 4:54 pm

With my current GF, I find that it works out very well from the physical standpoint, and it's also awesome that she's almost always willing to do it. She also tells me it feels really good. But I also don't think it's a super big fetish from a psychological standpoint, and I think the big reason we do anal most of the time is because she knows it's "my thing."

To be honest, as hot as the idea of A2M is to me, I find that in practice, it's not as nice as how hot it sounds in theory.

Interesting discussion we got going here. In general, females are more fluid with sex, whereas males are more fixed. Which makes sense. For example, I bet you there are no women out there that would voluntary like to or even wonder about sucking a cock out of their ass unless asked or requested to do so by a man. They may end up getting used to it or truly liking it with more practice, but the idea comes from a man's point of view. I know it’s a huge turn on for me and I’m a guy - the sensation and visual of having that done to you is phenomenal. So if I was a woman I probably wouldn’t even think of it unless my bf/husband wanted me to try it. Similarly, your anal obsession could be something that isn’t psychologically natural for her, but something she is willing to partake. Over time, could it be? At least she has the physical component which you mentioned necessary for an anal queen. Now it's the psychological component you'd need to work on, rather she needs to work on. haha

There’s these two amateur couples that makes unbelievably superb anal videos. A must watch for anal lovers: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php? ... 3f2b6ad44f and https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php? ... 4156fc2b37 A lot of their videos feature ass to mouth and anal creampies. Really sexy and appealing - no visible shit or accidents. One of them talks about her method on a blog and it seems like it takes her 2-3 hours to completely clean out her ass. Whether she likes it or he demands it, it’s an effort on her part. It easy for us guys; get hard and go at it. Meanwhile, she has to make sure she didn’t eat a ton, ate the right kind of fibrous foods that don’t cause soft stools or diarrhea, cleaned out her ass well, and made sure there's no excessive soreness/pain to proceed. That’s the part where the psychological component of being an anal queen manifests itself. And that's the part that you seem to be missing in your girl so I can see why you're hesitant to ask for ATM.
one time, after I came in her ass, she sucked the jizz off the tip of my dick, unprompted.

That's really hot, man. From what you said, it doesn't seem like she is completely opposed to ATM, as long as there isn't shit going in her mouth. Perhaps you can have her make incremental moves. The first stage you pull out of her ass after a deep assfucking and tell her to get on her knees. Start stroking your cock and ask her to suck/lick your balls. While stroking gently caress her head and ask her to take some deep breathes on your cock, tell her to sniff your cock. This way she gets used to the smell first. The second stage would be stroking your cock on her face after a hot anal session, like her forehead or cheeks. The last stage would be to get her to make small licks here and there. Eventually, it'd lead to her sucking on her own or you'd request it when you're getting the vibe that she'd go for it. Another sneaky way to get ATM would be to cum on her face after anal and squeeze the cum out and dab it on her tongue. Do that enough times and one day just slide your cock into her mouth. Just giving some options - what do you think? haha
ut she had also only had anal sex a few times in her life, so who knows how well she would tolerate being fucked in the ass all the time.

You want to have anal daily, but I think it's also crucial that she gets time to relax. Once a day is plenty, but even that seems excessive. Perhaps someone else can chime in here. Why not give her asshole some time to recover, focus on blowjobs or something for a day or two. It’s important for the body especially a sensitive area like that to recover. I’m sure you’re not going in inch by inch but pounding her asshole so you can imagine it takes a beating from your cock. It's obviously your preference, but I'd rather have an amazing hardcore assfucking session with a clean beautiful tight asshole every other day or more than to insist on having it daily.

It makes sense to stay and stick it out for now. See how things go for a while and see if they change for you. If you don’t notice any changes in what you expect, then perhaps you should spend your energy now trying to find the rare anal queen of your dreams. Keep us updated.

uncertain
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2018 5:50 am
Gender: Female

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by uncertain » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:58 am

hasani2222 wrote: Interesting discussion we got going here. In general, females are more fluid with sex, whereas males are more fixed. Which makes sense.

Really? I'd say it is men that are always looking for novelty. And I believe that as a rule they are less invested emotionally in sex.
hasani2222 wrote: You want to have anal daily, but I think it's also crucial that she gets time to relax.

I completely agree. I don't think it's likely many women will tolerate that. Given my own experiences I can't stress enough the importance of not being able to communicate effectively and explore your partners point of view. There needs to be some give and take on both sides.

Johnnyenglish
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 7:09 am
Gender: Male

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by Johnnyenglish » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:28 pm

Sorry for my English .
I’m male merid for 18 years. If you zoom out ,and looking what Important in life. You can count it on your fingers.
The most important is to be respectful to your partner and family .
Second thing is how to do good things to your closest.
I read every time that a lot of the members here, trying to make there parteners to become porn queen.
I really don’t anderstend why you gays canceling all your partner needs? Why you make some one to go ao ,if she like vaginal sex. Why you being so agoesit ? Women have a
different machaniziam the sex drive is less than as males.
I can here all the time members here doing contest how Mach time thay can make there partner ao? It look like forum of bdsm. Everyone here trying to make a slave from your partner/ wife. I want everyday anal sex but me and my wife have kids and jobs. She like vaginal sex .
Sometimes we have one time a week . Sometimes 4 times a week.
I’m not trying to force her to do things that make her uncomfortable . If you looking long term relationship you mast give her the space to be happy and comfortable with her sexuality.you pushed her to the limit to the point that she is not happy from the sex . She is doing it just that you will be happy. That what you want from the woman you love?

AnnoMundi
Posts: 135
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:31 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by AnnoMundi » Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:00 pm

PuckerUp wrote:
Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:00 pm
(1) While it's great that we do anal nearly every time, the difference in sex drives is a big problem. I think on the whole we're fairly sexually compatible, but I can also imagine a woman out there with whom I'm much more compatible. Who begs me multiple times a day to put my dick in her ass. Who begs me to A2M her (something I haven't even brought up with her, but which I've done with other women.) Who fingers and toys her asshole when I'm not there. And who doesn't even want vaginal. Etc.

What makes you think it will be different next time? Because even with a higher sex drive she will be subject to the same pressures and biology as your current GF. There's still the daily grind of life, and as relationships age familiarity will breed contempt. What was once exciting becomes normal becomes a chore. Relationships take work. Nothing will go automatic. If you can't make this one work, what makes you think the next one will?
(2) While I get along with her just fine outside of the bedroom, we don't have as much in common as I'd like, and there are plenty of women out there with whom I have more in common.

What is with the obsession of having things in common these days? Like it is the miracle solution for relationships these days.
(3) This is a whole separate discussion, but I have a fairly average partner count, and I've always been a serial monogamist. I've always wondered what it would be like to "play the field" for a little while, and the hope would be that after 10 or 15 new partners, I'd have a higher sample size with which to judge potential long-term girlfriends... and maybe I'd meet someone just as horny and obsessed with anal as I am along the way. I feel that I'm at the best point in my life I'll ever be in right now to play the field, due to where I currently live as well as my current job, and I feel I might regret not doing this while I'm still somewhat young.

I've spent enough time lurking on pickup artist forums to learn that none of them has actually become any happier from having boned a lot of women. In a way the opposite happened. On the one hand it made them restless, and breaking off short term relations (if any) for the thrill of the next conquest interested them more then actually having a quality relationship. They also constantly complained that ALL women were the same. And not in a good way. That having been with lots of women taught them that there was no special unicorn. And all it created in them was contempt for all women. So be weary in wanting to play the field. That way all to often leads to the Dark Side.
Also, regarding point (1), I feel that I might have a chance of turning her into some kind of AO queen... at least, the prospects appear stronger with her than with anyone else I've dated, but I also suspect that I might have an even easier time with someone new. And I think that the sex drive difference is going to be a particularly difficult challenge - give me a nymphomaniac who is really kinky, but doesn't necessarily consider anal one of her kinks, and I might have an easier time turning her into an AO queen.

Okay, so with all the background out of the way, I want to ask: Do you think (non-sexual issues aside) I found someone pretty special, considering she is willing to do anal the vast majority of the time, and nearly every time I'm in the mood for it (even if she is not)? And to the men in this forum, if you were in my shoes, would you try pretty hard to hold on to someone like that?

One more thing: I believe her job is a big part of the reason she's often not in the mood for sex, and I suspect that in a few years (yes, that's YEARS) she'll be in a much less stressful and time-consuming job, and that issue will largely go away (judging from how things have gone when she's been off work). So perhaps another question is whether I could see myself staying with her for years, and potentially delaying indefinitely the idea of me "playing the field," for an even better sex life with her.

That's all, and I'd like to thank you in advance for your input.

Like I said before, if you're not in an abusive relationship you cannot make this work, what makes you think you can make the next one work? Also, to ask the question is to answer it.
Jack wrote:
Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:04 pm
Yes, you have found a keeper.

Even in your millennial age group and even with your self-described outstanding qualities, you face a long, frustrating, and dicey search for an anal only harem. Anally tolerant women are hard enough to find; only a few of that number are willing to go anal only long term; and the tiniest subset will brave STDs by sharing you. Or maybe you will have to share them, and sometimes make do with sloppy seconds.

Look at the paucity of women who post regularly at this site. Out of tens of millions of sexually active women in the western world, how many do we have? Maybe 20, even with non-stop, illustrated support from Tumblr. Wake up, and count your blessings. At age 36, I finally won the lottery with keeper Carla, going through lots of rejection and two divorces along the way. Good luck, optimist. Your girlfriend will have a much easier transition to the dating scene than you -- if she hasn't already! How many suitors do you think she'd get with a single come-on post here, offering anal even once a month?

To put it into perspective, she could go in Tinder, not post any pictures, nor say anything about herself and she will STILL get hundreds of likes and probably even some superlikes. The dating scene is massively skewed in favor of women here in the West and there are shitloads of thirsty needy men willing to supplicate them. There's a reason why so many Western men look for potential mates elsewhere.

yosemitespam
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:06 pm

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by yosemitespam » Fri Jun 15, 2018 5:42 pm

Some folks think with their other head, you know, the one on their neck.

If all you want from a woman is anal sex, in the long run it'll be much cheaper to go the cash-and-carry route. Marriage is about giving, not so much about getting.

YS

F655A
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 12:45 pm

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by F655A » Wed Jun 20, 2018 4:30 pm

The fact you are asking the question proves that whichever decision you make will be the right one for you.

gromm
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:55 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by gromm » Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:02 am

Sorry AnnoMundi, but I had a particular grievance with your post:
AnnoMundi wrote:
Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:00 pm
To put it into perspective, she could go in Tinder, not post any pictures, nor say anything about herself and she will STILL get hundreds of likes and probably even some superlikes. The dating scene is massively skewed in favor of women here in the West and there are shitloads of thirsty needy men willing to supplicate them. There's a reason why so many Western men look for potential mates elsewhere.

And to put that into perspective, at least 95% of those men are going to be raging shitheads. Probably close to 99%. Most of the men who have tried this particular experiment (to sign up for Tinder or... really any dating site as a woman) came away from it with exactly no faith in humanity whatsoever. I mean being utterly, utterly disgusted by what women have to put up with.

The other half of that is that yeah, sure, women can get casual sex really easily, but most of them will tell you that they've literally never gotten off in any casual encounter ever. So they generally feel like it's both a waste of time and not worth the risk of potential pregnancy, disease, and murder.

So just for future reference... you should drop that attitude.

gromm
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:55 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Did I find a keeper?

Post by gromm » Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:11 am

Oh yeah, and OP?

She's totally a keeper, especially if things outside the bedroom match up. On a scale of 0 to 1, where 1 is THE ONE, I'd say she's a 0.9. You can totally round her up to a 1. :)

My wife typically has a very high sex drive - and certainly higher than mine. However, there have been periods where even she's faltered in that regard. If going on vacation is all that she needs to cure her, there are literally no problems here. I have stories of What Happened When My Wife's Sex Drive Came Back just last year. It happened at about Mach 2.4, with guns and rockets blasting away. I had no chance. Too bad none of our fuck buddies were available for the fireworks, or it would have been utterly epic.

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