Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

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Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Fri Sep 07, 2018 10:54 pm

Hi! I’ve joined this forum to read on any advice to get my wife into and comfortable with anal sex... we’ve been married 5 years, have two kids and don’t really want to have more, but also not having sex either as we don’t use contraceptives.
If we could have anal sex, all my dreams would come true. But she’s not keen to try at all.
I’m into anal, and have been for years, receiving anal toys, fingers, fisting and all other anal sex acts.

Looking forward to reading through your posts.

yosemitespam
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:06 pm

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by yosemitespam » Sat Sep 08, 2018 1:45 pm

How very unusual. ;) (I don't mean to be unsympathetic, just some fellow-feeling.)

If you don't use contraceptives because your wife is a believing Orthodox or Roman Catholic Christian, there's a larger conversation that probably needs to take place. If it's for some other reason, e.g. she wants to have a much larger family than you do, some discussion would probably be good as well.

You say you've been into receiving anal. One gathers that your wife hasn't been the one giving it, or she'd surely be more adventurous.
Overall it sounds like quite a lot of conversations are in order, just to sort through all of that. It's okay to keep Christmas presents secret from one's spouse, but other sorts of secrets are generally destructive.

DW and I have recently gone more in the vaginal direction, since she prefers it and we've figured out how I can benefit as well.

Cheers

YS

Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:18 pm

Thanks for the reply
While our lack of sex is partly to avoid pregnancy. It’s more because she isn’t very “into it”. Too tired from looking after two kids and the house.
Plus I have a new theory after hearing a podcast on sexuality. Her sex drive maybe very stimulus based, she may not feel like sex till it’s already underway and she’s turned on. Where I am very spontaneous in my arrousal, so seemingly nothing will make me horny.

She has fingered me a bunch of times. And she’s ok with me using anal toys.
I’ve just got to try harder to make a couple of stress free days and relaxing evenings without the kids to have a chance at sex... and once that’s more regular, anal sex!

AnnoMundi
Posts: 134
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:31 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by AnnoMundi » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:03 am

When a child is hungry, do you not feed it? If your husband is horny, do you not see to it? It seems weird that the former always gets addressed and the latter is okay to ignore. After all both are basic needs.

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French Lover
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Location: Paris, France

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by French Lover » Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm

Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:43 am

French Lover wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm
Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

I agree with you here. It’s not my wife’s duty to satisfy me sexually, nor to do the housework.
We are a team, and we both know it.
It’s going to take a lot of communication, effort on my side, patience and openness.

AnnoMundi
Posts: 134
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:31 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by AnnoMundi » Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:23 am

Selffister88 wrote:
Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:43 am
French Lover wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm
Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

I agree with you here. It’s not my wife’s duty to satisfy me sexually, nor to do the housework.
We are a team, and we both know it.
It’s going to take a lot of communication, effort on my side, patience and openness.

Haha! Methinks he was being sarcastic. Not feeding your own children is not a duty? So......., letting them starve is OK? And you agree with that? :D :D :D

Selffister88
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:06 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by Selffister88 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:42 pm

AnnoMundi wrote:
Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:23 am
Selffister88 wrote:
Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:43 am
French Lover wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:06 pm
Women's duty is not to feed children and provide sex to their husband. That's very sexist.

I agree with you here. It’s not my wife’s duty to satisfy me sexually, nor to do the housework.
We are a team, and we both know it.
It’s going to take a lot of communication, effort on my side, patience and openness.

Haha! Methinks he was being sarcastic. Not feeding your own children is not a duty? So......., letting them starve is OK? And you agree with that? :D :D :D

Haha!
No. Not entirely. But at the same time, they need to feed themselves now, mostly at least ;) breastfeeding is my wife’s duty, and she’s been amazing at that.

F655A
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 12:45 pm

Re: Male into anal, but wife isn’t :(

Post by F655A » Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:01 am

My wife was not into receiving anal, but didn't mind pegging. In fact she got rather much into it. For years, I'd finish off in her vagina after a long pegging session, and we both wound up happy. My big mistake was trying to talk her into receiving. That somehow led to a sexual disconnect between us, to my immense frustration. I wound up in a sexless marriage. My advice is don't pressure her going where she doesn't want to go.

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