Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Tell about your own experiences with the anal only lifestyle.
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kokay
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Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by kokay » Sun Mar 10, 2019 11:32 am

Hello community. I've only just found out how tumblr has down all the adult content. I feel this was a bad choice, policy wise as it wasn't just the porn but all the other communities that suffer as they have limited or nonexistent presence elsewhere. Such as this one. And personally I wouldn't have found the help I needed without tumblr.

Just yesterday I remembered that I had set up an account here, so this looks like the only place to be now. The short version is that my husband and I started having anal sex during my second pregnancy, which really changed everything, not that either of us knew it at the time. Both super busy and tired, emotionally drained, with me being most effected. I felt like I had lost something and feared I was suffering post partum depression. If you're interesting I think it's all in the blog archive.

I hadn't given much thought to an update or follow up on the progress we had made as I've been much too busy. Finally finding a little more time now, even though back to work. Day care for our number two has made so much difference.

Now I come to what most of you will want to know, and yes we have been having lots of anal sex. For those who don't want to read the blog archive I had felt really mixed up after giving birth and missed the special time my husband and I had during pregnancy. We had such a close connection then, I was off vaginal and after years without finding myself thinking about and enjoying anal lie never before. My husband loved it too. Later, he didn't want to go back and I felt confused, guilty and a kind of alienation to sex in general. I had thought that every would go back as before. Well, we learned you can't put that genie back in the bottle.

I have to say that most of the effort required was on my part. Initially it just didn't feel the same at all. My husband didn't want to push, he noticed the change. but at the same time I could tell and now know that introducing anal sex to the relationship had opened up a whole new dimension for him. I think that he had a very hard time admitting to me and himself that that was now his very strong preference.

What we have learned together is that it takes time, patience and perseverance to work through difficult times to get to where you want. I didn't feel the same initially about the anal sex as I had when I was pregnant but keeping at it as a loving team I've been able to rediscover the magic. Eventually it has become what feels the most natural thing in the world.

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analsexonly
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by analsexonly » Sun Mar 10, 2019 2:48 pm

Good to see you here again, @kokay! Thanks for the update, and glad to hear that you're still enjoying anal very much!

It is a shame about Tumblr, but our community is still active and healthy even without it. Between the forum, our Discord server for realtime chat and the new blog that's no longer hosted on Tumblr (but which still has all the old content archived), things are looking up.

If you'd like to make a followup post for the blog as well, feel free and I'd be happy to post it. The archive of your past messages is here, and you can submit a message here.

Xin
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by Xin » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:43 pm

@kokay thank you so much for shoring. I'm sorry to hear that your second birth has been challenging, and that your relationship with your husband is a little strained. I'm glad daycare is helping, and that things continue to get better over time for you both. Children are so hard!

Have you checked out whether your experience is akin to PPD? There might be lots of resources and services available to support you while you're going through this complex time.

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kokay
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by kokay » Wed Mar 20, 2019 10:19 am

Thank you Xin, but this was last year and everything has improved so much. I'm feeling better about myself, my husband, the kids, everything. Not to say that there aren't ongoing challenges but that's life.

I believe it was partly PPD and amongst other things killed my sex drive, and when trying to have sex it just wasn't the same as when I was pregnant. I noticed this also in the first pregnancy by the way, but not nearly as intense. Throw in to that my husband finding it real hard to go back to vaginal sex when that no longer felt the same to him and we had a few stressful months.

We both got frustrated as sex had lost its spark so quickly, while his whole attitude to vaginal sex had changed when we tried and enjoyed anal during the pregnancy.

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Canassman
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by Canassman » Mon Mar 25, 2019 8:31 am

like the others, I̱'m sorry for the rough time you went through, although it sounds like you learned a lot, and have really reconnected in your relationship through anal. My wife and I have always found it to be far more intimate, it really requires so much more trust - especially from the woman. I'm happy your sex life and intimacy have been revived. I hope it continues to be that way, as it has for us.

I am curious if you experience orgasm? either anally or with clit stimulation. And whether that changed during your pregnancy or afterwards?

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kokay
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by kokay » Tue Apr 16, 2019 11:01 am

Canassman it was like a had become a different person after the birth. I didn't like how I felt at all. During the pregnancy we had tried anal and both really liked it. I had I high sex drive nearly right up to the end of the third trimester. It was like we were two crazy teens all over again and couldn't keep our hands off of each other. The anal sex, which I hadn't done for years, suddenly felt so right and perfect for me. For whatever reason it was meeting my needs at the time. It came as a shock to us both when after the birth my feelings flipped and we lost that spark. I really wanted it to be as it was, and also because my husband had become used to anal being routine. We missed that intimacy that everyone describes.

I do experience very strong orgasms during anal but need to have some clitoral stimulation. I feel like I can get so close without and it's an incredible feeling all by itself, but the orgasm is always at the "almost" stage. Everything was better during the pregnancy than after but I'm sure that was down to feeling super horny all the time.

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kokay
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by kokay » Wed Apr 17, 2019 9:03 am

Thinking more about our situation after posting yesterday I think for quite some time after baby #2 I was feeling very negative about everything. And I couldn't find any joy in anything. However, making the effort to bring our sex life back into focus and how anal had made us feel so connected, even at times when I wasn't necessarily in the mood, or tired, did eventually turn things around. But it did take effort to get there.

kingsman
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by kingsman » Fri Apr 19, 2019 9:22 am

Glad to see you back. I had my fingers crossed hoping you would pull through.

It's like many other women report, that suddenly (usually when they are a bit older) that something just switches on in their head about anal. Certain milestones appear to be the catalyst.

You haven't mentioned you husband much? How has he been through all this? What's his reaction?

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kokay
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Re: Since last summer. Reconnecting, changes and thoughts.

Post by kokay » Sat Apr 20, 2019 2:37 pm

kingsman wrote:
Fri Apr 19, 2019 9:22 am
Glad to see you back. I had my fingers crossed hoping you would pull through.

It's like many other women report, that suddenly (usually when they are a bit older) that something just switches on in their head about anal. Certain milestones appear to be the catalyst.

You haven't mentioned you husband much? How has he been through all this? What's his reaction?

It was sudden. All I know is that I was having feelings I hadn't had before all at one. I think I was more hormonal than the first pregnancy which explains the huge low afterwards.

I'm able to talk about it with my husband now and he's been very understanding and supportive. He's also been honest enough to admit he likes anal more than anything else.

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