How do you take the first step if you're really nervous?

Curious about the anal only lifestyle or anal sex in general but have questions or concerns? Ask away here.
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bethany
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2020 11:04 am
Gender: Female

How do you take the first step if you're really nervous?

Post by bethany » Tue Jun 16, 2020 11:28 am

Hi everyone!

I've been reading a lot of guides but my problem is that whenever I think about trying it for the first time, I get scared and feel incredibly nervous. Would really appreciate any advice on how to overcome that.

Thank you!!
Last edited by bethany on Sun Jun 28, 2020 4:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Canassman
Posts: 271
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:22 am
Location: Canada

Re: How do you take the first step if you're really nervous?

Post by Canassman » Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:45 pm

Hello Bethany... welcome to the forum. If U r interested in trying anal then there’s some key things to start with,,, first of all try things solo. Play with your ass by yourself to see how it feels for you and determine which things u enjoy. Take a warm bath, get relaxed, get into a private room and make sure you have plenty of time to explore and not feel pressured. Just play with your anus on the outside. Enjoy the sensation, try different pressures. Add lube to gently play with your opening. Slowly work your finger in and explore yourself. Go as deep or shallow as u like. You should empty your bowels before the bath so u feel clean inside and out, you can do this several times till,u feel ready for more. Go slow, use a good lube and just focus on relaxing and determining what feels good.
When u r ready u can introduce a toy or toys. Buttplug, dildo, beads or whatever appeals to u. Go slow and just use something slightly bigger than the fingers u have been using, start with fingers again, and the lube upnthentoys. Gently enter and use it go explore. Lube, slow, gentle.
Over time u can increase speed or size. Go at your own pace.
If u have a partner and want to have anal sex, then start the same way. U or your partner usemfingers, or rimming, introduce toys as per the enjoyable routine you have established. Then u can lube up your partners penis and slowly u can control his entry if U r on top, or he can go slow according to your pace. A good partner will take cues from u. Go slow at first and he can increase speed or depth based on your wishes.
Good luck and please keep us informed about your progress. My wife was once in your shoes, and now we have an amazing AO sex life that makes us both happy.

bethany
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2020 11:04 am
Gender: Female

Re: How do you take the first step if you're really nervous?

Post by bethany » Sun Jun 28, 2020 4:02 am

Thank you so much!! :) Sorry for the late reply, I was really really busy.

Gently playing with my fingers worked out amazingly well after taking a warm bath. The area feels incredibly sensitive and yes, using lube helped a lot.

I went ahead and bought a small buttplug that is slightly bigger than my finger... and together with lube, I was surprised that it actually didn't hurt at all. like... not even a little bit, even though I've never had anything inside there before. I mean it still feels kind of awkward in a way but exciting at the same time. It's difficult to describe.

Well, at the moment I don't have a partner because I'm still in college and to be honest not sure if I'm ready for a long term relationship... then again, doing something like this with a guy that I just date might be too much, I don't know.

Sphincter.Stretcher
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Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2020 8:48 am
Gender: Male

Re: How do you take the first step if you're really nervous?

Post by Sphincter.Stretcher » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:43 am

HI Bethany!

So glad to hear that you are taking your first steps into the glorious and beautiful world of anal! It already sounds like you are enjoying your first experimentations.

I would suggest using a mirror so you can see how your body responds to your playing and toying. It's very erotic to see yourself being pleasured and can give you a more indepth knowledge of yourself and what pleases you. Plus it's a HUGE turn to see your toys and fingers sliding in and out.

Try different positions and find what feels good for you. Listen to your body. It will tell you what feels good and how to move to get the most pleasure.

As I'm sure you are discovering, there is a wide spectrum of anal pleasure and everyone has their own method of expressing it. Find what feels good for you and follow this where ever it leads. This is your pleasure and your sexuality, celebrate it!

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