I've been lurking for months now, reading, reading, reading. Damn you live hot lives!

I am completely obsessed with anal, with being filled, used, maybe even abused. (I'm a very submissive person.) I don't have a way to live it (yet?) but tonight I'm gonna plug my ass for the night for the first time and dream about a loving and strict man who would take me on, teach me, let me please him with my most intimate and embarrassing hole.
I'm female to male with the original plumbing left, but I want absolutely no penetration in my front hole. I still use my large clit to get off even tho I masturbate my ass every time. But I dream of leaving also my clit behind, and get any and all pleasure from pure anal, learn to cum from anal or not cum at all.
Xoxo from Sweden